We met at a club, our eyes locked instantly on the dance floor and it was as if we were just drawn together. You made your way over to me and I nervously looked away. You couldn't possibly have been interested in me, but you were. We danced the night away singing along to some of our favorite songs and laughed the hours away. We exchanged numbers as the night came to an end, and I was shocked that you texted me right after we parted ways.
Maybe it was the music, maybe it was the alcohol, but whatever it was, I couldn't get you off my mind. You were the one. Yes, I knew how foolish it was to have thoughts like that, but I couldn't stop myself from smiling as I replayed the night over and over in my head.
We began texting daily and I learned how similar we were. We had all the same tastes in movies and music, and our personalities just "clicked." It wasn't long before I started falling for you.
It was hard to imagine how anything could come from this though; you lived over an hour away in a different state. But you made it work. Our first time hanging out after we met you risked it and drove through a crazy snowstorm just to see me. I told you not to, that it wasn't safe, but you told me I was worth the risk.
And it was amazing. All the times we spent together were the best times of my life, and when you left, I would just beg for one more minute.
So it's crazy to see how things have turned out.
You weren't sure about what you wanted. One second it was me, and the next it was her. We'd talk nonstop for days, then when I needed you most, you were nowhere to be found.
Months after of hearing nothing from you, I moved on. I met someone and started a relationship. But once you found out, you decided it was time to make an appearance after all that time. You texted me nonstop, saying you loved me and that you messed up. You wanted me to leave him so we could have the relationship I had always dreamed of.
And that's not fair. How dare you try to interfere with me and my happiness. You had your chance -- correction: You had MANY chances. It's not fair for you to toy with my feelings, making me question the relationship I was currently in.
I wanted to cave, I wanted to come running back to you. But then I came to my senses, and told you that you weren't being fair, but now, after all this time, you're turning it on me.
You're blaming me for why we're not together.
But do you want to know why we're really not together? Because you took advantage. You took advantage of a girl who fell fast, but fell hard and kept breaking her heart over and over again for you.
But did I ever hold that against you for long?
I was stupid and young, so every time you left, I waited. And when you came back, as hard as I tried not to, I eventually greeted you with open arms.
Now here we are, a year later of the same old cycle. But this time you're claiming you want it all and that I'm the one. But you're only saying that because I finally stopped letting you come back. I stopped waiting and moved on. I met a real man who treats me right.
So here you are texting me, trying to sabotage my relationship. And for what reason?
I'm not longer the same girl you knew. I've grown up a lot since you last saw me and have been through ordeals you know nothing about. You however, haven't changed at all and are actually lying about a relationship that you're in.
Does she know about this? Does she know you've been lying about her in order to win me over? I don't know. But that just proves one thing to me: You'll never change.
So I'm going to finally let you go. I'm not longer going to wonder, "what if?" in the back of my mind, because you answered all of those questions for me by your actions.
But don't you ever turn the blame on me for why we're not together.
Because you did that all by yourself.