I once had a dating app bio that said, "Still trying to get over my ex-boyfriend, really behind on my rent, and need someone to give me their Hulu password!"
Somehow, I didn't get many right swipes.
It's hard to know what to put in a bio on a dating app, but apparently, it's not what I wrote. While I still have not mastered exactly what does work on a dating app, I definitely know what doesn't.
So here are 10 things you definitely should NOT put in your dating profile if you want to get matches.
1. "I'm Not Good At Bios"
Well, clearly. I can tell that from this bio.
You're better off having no bio than putting this, because this is neither informative, creative, or funny.
It's lazy, and you're insulting yourself. Hey, what else aren't you good at while we're at it!
2. "I Love Drama!"
Because everyone else loves drama SO much.
Actually, maybe you should put this. I think it's really funny.
3. "No Short Guys"
You're going to dismiss a whole population of people just because of their height? That's size-ist.
Guess what? Your soulmate might be 5'8". That means the most incredible man with a fantastic personality, a great job, and who could be an amazing father to your future kids, could potentially not message you just because he's a few inches too short for your liking and you scared him away.
What if a guy had"no brunettes" on his profile? You'd think he was an asshole, right?
Don't be a jerk. Date a short guy. They need love, too.
4. "I Love Burning Man"
Going to Burning Man screams, "I like to roll around in the dirt, not shower for days, and have orgies next to weird art installations made of scrap metal."
While a bio like this might attract other Burners, it won't necessarily get you a date with say, a doctor. Maybe save talking about your love of Burning Man for the third date.
5. "I Want Babies, Like, Yesterday!"
You don't need to tell the world that your biological clock is ticking. Keep that info to yourself until you've been dating for a few months, and it's appropriate to start talking about kids.
You don't need to show up to date one with those baby socks you've been knitting and a baby book with your first child's name already picked out.
Slowwww your roll, girl.
6. "Let's Say We Met At The Market"
No! How about you don't start off your relationship with a lie?
You didn't meet at the market, at a bar, or on an airplane. You met on a dating app. So if you joke that you want to lie and say you met elsewhere, it shows that you're potentially embarrassed about being on the app and look down on him for being on there, too.
There's no shame in your game. Everyone is on a dating app. In the future, absolutely no one will meet in real life. That's what technology has done to society.
7. "Only Swipe If You Want To Meet Up"
Ah, making demands before you've even started talking. That's definitely something that screams, "This is the kind of girl I want to be dating."
It's best not to start off your relationship with an ultimatum. It doesn't give the best first impression. Instead, why don't you leave that out of your bio, and once you start talking, say you'd rather meet in person than message?
Yes, there are different and friendlier ways to get the same result.
8. "I'm A Princess, So Treat Me Like One"
Unless you are literally a princess, absolutely do not write this. It basically translates to "I am a high-maintenance disaster."
9. "You Better Have A Job!"
If you're insisting that he has a job, you better have a great job, too. Don't be slanging some trendy tea on Instagram and insist that the guy you match with be a doctor or an astronaut.
Sometimes, we expect things in our partner that we don't even have or provide for ourselves. We want our partner to be patient and a good listener, when we're demanding and refuse to listen to their side of the story.
Don't only swipe right on supermodel doctors if you, too, are not a supermodel and doctor. It's good to have standards, but let's also be realistic here, OK? It's emotions that count.
10. "Aquarius And Introvert!"
No one needs to know your astrological sign, how often you sage your house, or your personality type. He can find that out through dating you. And most likely, this will make any guy run for the hills — especially if he's an extroverted Gemini.
Is there anything you suggest putting or not putting in your dating profile? Let me know in the comments.