Sexiness, much more than beauty, is very subjective. What I find sexy, you may not find sexy -- and vice versa.
There's a strong correlation between what we find attractive and social status/financial stability. Having nice clothes, being groomed, even being healthy all costs money. We find people who are well-off more attractive than those who aren't. We're attracted to people who are most likely to provide a comfortable life for us and our offspring. We find people attractive when we believe they have an innate greatness.
However, attractiveness and sexiness aren't exactly one and the same. Sexiness is subjective.
There are plenty of non-sexual qualities that make a women incredibly sexy. Ladies, if your man doesn't find you sexy for these reasons, then you may be better off with another man. Guys, if you don't find women sexy for these reasons, then you need to reassess your thinking a bit.
I'd say to each his own, but you'll regret not being capable of appreciating a woman for the right reasons.
1. The way she walks
Get that image of hip swaying and dipping out of your head. That's not what I'm talking about.
It's not about the way she actually walks. It's about the way she walks into a room and somehow instantly catches your attention. It's the vibration she gives off, so even when your eyes can't see her, you can nonetheless feel her presence.
2. The way her eyes don't look at you, but into you
People look judge all the time. We've adapted to do these things to keep ourselves out of harm's way.
It's easy to judge someone from the outside. Judging someone's soul, on the other hand, is different. She doesn't judge you. She simply sees you.
3. The confidence she has in all the things she does
It's one thing to be confident -- anyone can be confident -- but that's not what makes her sexy. Having confidence because you deserve that confidence -- now that's sexy.
Rightful confidence is arguably the sexiest quality a woman can have. Nothing is sexier than a confident woman who you can tell, just by looking at her, has every reason to be so confident.
4. How she always manages to find time to help those closest to her
You want to find a sexy woman? Find a woman that cares. A woman that is willing to give a helping hand to those who ask for it.
She's never too busy when her friends and family need her. She's always there for them, and not because she's doing them a favor, but because she's naturally inclined to care.
5. How passionately she lives her life
Passion is sexy. It just is. Without passion, love fades. Without passion, life fades.
Having someone in your life who's passionate about the things she does -- even if it's the littlest of things -- has a very positive impact on your life. Because she's passionate, you'll likely become more passionate. Being passionate makes you feel sexy.
So now you're both feeling passionate and sexy. Need I say more?
6. How she makes you want to be a better person
Sexiness has a power to it. It moves us. It influences us. It's an energy that both excites and attracts us. It even motivates us. Or rather, the fear of losing her motivates you to become a better version of you.
Of course, her kind and motivating words also help, but it's really how much you need her that makes you want to grow as an individual.
7. The way she listens
It can be difficult to understand how being a good listener is sexy. I get that. I didn't always understand it either -- not until realizing, after years of meeting people and having conversations, that most people don't listen.
They don't listen just to listen; they listen just enough so they can respond. Most of the time people are talking, they're really just eagerly awaiting the next time they can speak. You don't know how sexy being a good listener is until you realize how incredibly rare that is.
8. The way she shares
It's not so much the act of sharing itself, but the way she does it. She doesn't share because she feels that it's the right thing to do. Or because she grew up hearing “sharing is caring.” Or because she feels obligated to do so in any way.
When she's sharing that sandwich, that bowl of ice cream, that blanket, it's not those things themselves that she's sharing with you. She's sharing the experience. She's sharing her life.
9. The way she loves
She doesn't love you for the things you provide her. She doesn't love you only for the experiences you share together. She doesn't only love you because of the way you make her feel.
She loves you because when she looked into your soul, she found that you're a person worth loving. She loves you for you -- in a way that very few ever have or ever will. She loves you an eternity's worth.
Now that's sexy.