Single women of the world, rejoice. You've successfully survived wedding season! You should be so proud of yourselves.
But you're not out of the woods just yet because there's still next year. Yes, next year, you're going to have to do this shiz all over again. You know, like be happy for the bride and all that while you're the super single friend.
But you guys, being single at weddings doesn't have to be as bad as you're making it out to be. It's all about how you look at it. A positive attitude goes a long way here.
What's so great about weddings as a single person, you ask?
You can sleep with whomever you want, and that's a pretty cool thing. You can also stuff your face with that awesome wedding cake.
Trust me, I know what I'm talking about: I'm always the bridesmaid, never the bride.
Here are nine things you can do at a wedding only if you're single.
1. Flirt like you've never flirted before.
Girl, you did not spend $300 on that dress for nothing. You look hot, which means your flirt game has to match the way you look.
Because your hotness can't go unnoticed, flirt like you've never flirted before. Seriously, don't disappoint me.
2. Sleep with the best man.
I feel like the best man is always hot. I mean, he kind of has to look hot because it's not just a big day for his bestie. It's a big day for him, too.
So once you've perfected your flirt game, get underneath the best man.
3. Or the bartender.
I said it before and I'll say it again: The bartender is your friend. When he's not getting you wasted, he's looking around the room and secretly judging everyone.
You look hot and have perfected your flirt, so if the best man isn't into you, just go for the bartender. It's a solid win.
4. Or pretty much anyone.
OK, if the best man and the bartender both aren't into you, just go for ANYONE AT ALL. Someone will go home with you.
My lady friend, you are getting laid tonight, and don't stop preying on men until you do. Just be ~sly~.
5. Create an alternate identity.
You're single, and you're off the grid. Literally no one cares where you end up that night or why, so create an alternate identity.
Whenever I'm looking to get in trouble, I tell people my name is Jasmine. Why? Just because. It's probably because she's my favorite Disney princess.
6. Dance with your single girlfriends.
So what if you don't get to slow dance with all the other couples? Slow dancing is boring AF. I very much enjoy crazy, fast dancing, like "Greased Lightnin'" type shiz.
7. Dance alone.
I LOVE solo dance parties. Just dance like no one's watching, OK?
Seriously, though, no one is watching. And if they are, they're all just as drunk as you are and honestly don't give a damn.
8. Eat all the cake you want.
Go for that third slice of cake, girl. Not only should you dance like no one's watching, but you should also eat like no one's watching.
9. RUN FOR THE BOUQUET.
DUH! This is, like, the best part of the wedding.
Running for the bouquet is like a fun little competition, and it's especially exciting because you're usually drunk when you do it.
So, run for that bouquet. I hope you catch it.