Gone are the days of courting, proper dating etiquette and the idea of standard dating rules. Millennials are playing the dating game with new rules, and some of us are making them up as we go.
Our grandparents' generation dated the old fashion way. It started with asking permission from the parents, calling to set-up dates and knocking on the door to pick them up.
Now, we'd be lucky to have a guy open a car door let alone call to set up a date. Due to the relaxed nature of dating, it isn't uncommon for men to date several women at once.
This is what people are referring to as “having a side chick.” Here are the top four reasons why our dating culture encourages guys to have a side chick.
1. The culture we operate under is one of quick and easy convenience.
We want our cake, we want to eat it and we want your cake too.
Tinder has changed the game because it turned dating into one.
When you match with someone the app literally says “keep playing.”
Is dating a game now and not the means to marriage? Maybe that's why people are playing the field. This inevitably makes us very sexual beings, or the opposite, very insecure beings. If someone is on Tinder, it's likely that they are dating several people at a time.
2. Women have high standards to meet when dating.
Due to the increased relevance of social media, women have very high standards. They constantly feel pressure to look good, act right, and date a certain way. This has led to a generation of insecurities. It's statically proven that millennials are having less sex than any generation before, and our culture plays a huge part in this.
The idea of a relationship has to run through the filters of Instagram first to see how many likes it gets before some of us actually commit. That's because the vapid, surface level image has become a priority.
When that relationship isn't fitting the ideal picture, men and women may be on to the next. With that "on to the next one" mentality, men keep their feelers out to attract another. This woman winds up being the side chick if the original relationship stays in tact.
It's very easy to find a side chick using dating apps and even social media. One Instagram comment leads to a DM which leads to hooking up.
3. We have our dates via text messages which can become addicting.
We are also dating in a strange way compared to other time periods. We have our date via text message opposed to in person. This circumvents a very important bonding process. When several text messages are exchanged, it eliminates that personal touch to any relationship. It's easier to say things via text than it is in person.
When we date via text, we're more likely to hook up when we meeting in person. This is due to the fact that a false idea of personal connection was formed. This leads to the “hit it and quit it” mentality or fiery relationships that burn out quickly.
That can become addicting for some guys. When they finally meet that woman they want to commit too, they may have a hard time breaking this habit.
4. Men suffer from the fear of missing out (FOMO).
The idea of marriage is terrifying for some men. They don't want to feel held down so when things get serious they may try to resist. It's not uncommon for men to have one last side chick right before getting serious with someone.
When things get serious and people start spending time together, they don't have lives outside of that relationship. Not having separate time makes things less mysterious and uninteresting. Men crave that mystery and allure more than they do sex. That's why having a side chick is more than just sex. It's because they feel they are missing out on something.
It may seem dire, but there are good men out there who are willing to commit! All this cultural pressure makes it hard to be trusting and vulnerable. But, being vulnerable is a very endearing quality and fear shouldn't prevent you from trying. In the end, it always works out the way it's meant to. So do not fear ladies!