He taught me what love was. He didn't do it intentionally. But through him, I saw how much I had to offer another human being.
I didn't get my happy ending, but I'm not bitter about it. I had an amazing opportunity to love him, and I will never forget what we had. I'm truly blessed for the experience we shared because without it, I would never know love in its purest form.
While we were together, I would read the following verse from the Bible every day:
I thought if I could master these truths, we would last. I thought if I could be everything in this verse, I'd never have to worry about our love failing.
We could have been something great, but there were too many complications and differences. There were things I couldn't tolerate, and we both needed to grow.
It's sad to see that more often than not, love isn't enough to keep two people together.
But this doesn't mean the love has to die.
My love for him still lives on today. It still exists within me, and it inspires me to do better in every way. I live with him in my mind. It propels me forward as I wonder, "If he knew what I was doing, would he be proud of me?"
Love is commonly defined as "a strong feeling or constant affection for a person."
Personally, I think love is so much more than that. I don't think many of us know what it means to love someone completely. But here is my definition of love:
1. To love someone first and foremost as a person, and then as a best friend, a partner and a family member
When I look at him, I know his soul. I know his potential and his goodness.
I don't look at him with possession or fear. I look at him, and I feel at home.
I feel safe, just as I do when I look at my grandmother. I feel connected to his being because he's a part of who I am.
2. To sacrifice and act in selflessness
We aren't together because we just can't be.
But, it doesn't mean I can't be happy for him when he finds someone else. As long as he is happy, I am genuinely happy for him, even if he is not with me.
I will not envy him or his new relationship because there is no reason to. We couldn't be together.
Therefore, he should live his life and make the most of it.
3. To have his or her back no matter what
No matter where we stand with each other, even if we haven't seen each other in ages, I will always have his back.
If I ever get a call from him, I will always go. There will always be someone out there who loves him, and I'll always protect him.
I will never give up on him. I will give him the space to grow and move on with his life, but I'm always here.
Love isn't just an attraction.
It is much more than a feeling or a swell of sudden emotion. Love is this infinite sentimental depth you feel for someone. You will carry it with you for the rest of your life.
Not many people see love the way I do. But not many people love as I do, either.
It comes with the good and the bad, but I wouldn't trade my intensity for anything. I wouldn't trade the loss and the pain that comes with knowing how much I care about people.
I will never regret the purity of my love for him. It showed me who I really am.