Why Waiting To Have Sex Won't Always Lead To The Relationship You Want
Can't decide when's the right time to have sex with someone new? Well, as soon as you start having those kind of thoughts, it's time.
If I start to become aware of my sexual attraction toward a new person I've been chilling with, it's time to get it on. Of course, it has to be mutual, which makes things even more exciting. Nothing feels better than having your sexual attraction reciprocated.
I did some research before deciding whether or not to talk about this issue, and what I found made me want to give my opinion on it. How long should you wait to have sex in the beginning of a new relationship? The answer is, there is no right time. There are no specific amount of dates or days that should go by where you will feel more comfortable having sex with that person.
If you think to yourself, “I wonder what she or he is like in bed,” why not just find out for yourself? But if you're hesitant, or you have to make up some ridiculous five-date or 90-day rule, it isn't worth it. And I'll tell you why.
Everything I found online suggested there should be some kind of waiting period. I, however, don't see the point of this.
If you two are consciously waiting to have sex, that will ruin the chemistry and excitement around sex. Sex isn't supposed to be a planned activity. Sex is supposed to be fun, adventurous and unexpected.
Once you plan a specific day to get it on, more than half of the fun of sex is taken out of the equation. Why ruin the spontaneity?
Sex will be the only thing on both of your minds because you two will be aware of the three more dates you have until you can crawl into bed with each other. By not having a mandatory number of pre-sex dates or waiting periods, the romance between you two will be able to develop naturally. It won't seem as pressured or rushed.
More often than not, someone's excuse for not having sex on the first date will be because he or she feels that person won't respect him or her, or the relationship will not develop any further than that. Well, who said anything about being with this girl or guy for the rest of your life? It might be nice, but it might not be realistic or what either of you are interested in right now.
It's always helpful to have an adult conversation before getting to the dirty talk to make sure everyone involved understands the situation. Sex is fun, but not if you f*ck up the foreplay. No one wants to deal with someone blowing up his or her phone after a one-night stand because the person was left to believe you two were now official.
I consider myself to be a realistic person. I don't like bullsh*t or fairytale endings. Waiting to have sex with a potential boo will not guarantee that both of you will be together until the end of time.
If you have sex with someone on the first date, you two could very well end up getting married and be happily in love for the rest of your days. On the other hand, you could wait six months, have sex and immediately break up afterward.
Part of the intrigue of sex is you never know what it will lead to. It is — and should be — a mystery. Withholding those goodies won't turn an ordinary fling into your soulmate.
Society pressures young women into thinking if they f*ck more than one person in their entire life, then they aren't the “wifey type.” But if a man sleeps around with different women, they are praised and seen as Gods and “pussy monsters.”
Women should be able to experience the same sexual freedom men do. After all, it takes two to tango (even when both partners do or don't have dicks).
Sex feels good, and it is good for you. What's so wrong with getting as much of it as you want?
And if you want to experiment with different people or the same sex, what's wrong with that? It's your body, it's your pleasure and you are in control of every part of it. Let your freak flag fly.