Contrary to what society and the consumer market may think, Valentine’s Day isn’t just for couples. Single people need some love too.
So, because I like to help people and because I’m tired of hearing the pathetic opinions single people have about this day, I have created a list of things singles can do to make it memorable.
Though the list is short, I think it’s very effective and attainable, so long as you’re willing to put aside your pride and shut the fuck up.
MAN UP. Don’t feel sorry for yourself and wallow in your singleness. Find another V-day hater(s) and enjoy each other’s company. Get wasted with each other, maybe you’ll both (or all) hook up and it’ll be all good.
BE PROACTIVE. For all you single kids getting an education, this would be a great night to study or do homework. The availability of friends may decrease, because they’ll all be on dates or something, so take advantage of your loneliness and dive into the books.
POST SELFIES. This is an awesome way to pass time, so post a few and the night will be over before ya know it! For those who don’t know what “selfies” are, I don’t want to spoil it so enter the hashtag on Instagram or Twitter and find out for yourself.
BE ALONE. With yourself, of course. Make it extra special and romantic. If there’s no one else to enjoy you, enjoy yourself. Light some candles, play some R&B, etc. It’s up to you if you want to invite battery-operated devices to this party for one.
HAVE GUILT-FREE MEANINGLESS SEX. I’m sure you can find someone who’s horny, just as much as you are. Do them. In all the craziest, classless, unspeakable ways you can think of — just so you can say “I got some on Valentine’s Day.” If you’re not about this way of living, please refer to #4.
QUIT BITCHIN’. There’s no excuse for you to be at home bitchin' on Facebook or Twitter, when you have 5 other plausible things to do on Valentine’s Day alone. Come on, now.
Brittany Tai | Elite.