I'm sure you've already received a few sex messages or sexts from guys. And I'm sure you've sent a few to guys as well, not quite knowing if they were going to have the desired effect.
The fact is, there is no bigger turn-off than a misplaced sext. While guys may be guilty of firing off a random dick pic at 11 am when you're just trying to enjoy a smoke break (just ask this guy), women are just as guilty for coming out of left field with their sexting.
There is no shortage of ways to nuke any attraction and tension with your man, but this guide isn't about that. It's about how to send sexy messages, sexts, dirty smut and all that other good stuff to your man in a way that gets the response you want. In other words, here are the sexting tips that will actually work:
1. Follow the golden rule.
The golden rule when sexting someone is to do and say what you would be comfortable with doing in person. This is by far the most important sexting tip if you want it go smoothly. So, if you and your man are already having filthy, sweaty, kinky sex filled with dirty talk, then it's perfectly appropriate to sext the same kinds of things to your man.
- "I loved feeling you sweat and grind on me last night!"
- "I'm still sore after last night, and I couldn't be happier ;)"
- "I'm sitting at my desk, and my panties are dripping wet just thinking about all the nasty things I'm going to do to you later!"
If you are the kind of couple who has sex through a sheet with the lights off, then it's going to come out of left field if you start sending him wild and dirty messages. If you are like most women and fall somewhere in between sex-crazed kinkster and chaste virgin, then you still only need to worry about one thing. The golden rule is to only sext what you are already comfortable saying in person.
2. Always test the waters before diving in.
So, Sean, what you are saying is that I should go ahead and start sexting my man something similar to what we already talk about in person? Correct, but there is one thing to remember: You still need to test the waters first. Instead of jumping into the deep end with sexting a new guy, you should first send him some tamer sexts and see how he reacts before proceeding.
- "Last night was fantastic. I'm so turned on just thinking about it."
- "I can't stop thinking about kissing you again."
- "I was dreaming about you on top of me last night."
All of these examples are tame enough that they're not going to cause much alarm or panic if they don't hit the way you want them to. But if they do hit, you can easily escalate from here. You can learn more sexual dos and don'ts here.
3. Build the sexual tension.
Many girls (and most guys) think sexting is all about getting to the point, but if that's your perception on sexting, then you're missing out on powerful sexting technique: building sexual tension. It's the perfect way to get your man quivering with excitement and desperate to see you by sending him suggestive, but not totally explicit texts during the day. Here's a few sexting examples to give you an idea:
- "I've been having the filthiest thoughts about you all day long. Can't wait to see you tonight."
- "I wish I could see you now instead of on the weekend. This horniness is killing me."
- "I've got a very sexy and kinda kinky surprise for you later."
These sexts are just a little dirty, but they're very suggestive and will spike your man's curiosity, which is vital to building sexual tension.
4. Give (not so) subtle reminders.
Another powerful way to use sexting with your man is when you're in a long-distance relationship, and you want to remind him of all the fun you have together. This sexting technique is vital if you want to keep things hot while you're apart. Here are three sexting examples to send your man to remind him of how hot you are together:
- "I was thinking about our first time last night... It made for some great dreams."
- "I wish I could say that my vibrator is a good replacement for you, but it's not. I need you so bad right now."
- "I think I am going to jump you when I see you next week. I've just been so horny ever since you left for college/work/deployment."
5. When it comes to pics, keep this one thing in mind.
Men get turned on by what they see, and this is something you've got to use to your advantage. Naked selfies are a great way to turn your man on and give him something to remember if you're spending a lot of time apart.
Thankfully, naked selfies aren't the only type of picture that will keep your man happy. Lingerie, semi-naked selfies and any suggestive poses work great, too. If you want to make sure the images won't be stored on his phone, Snapchat is a great option here. Plus, their fleeting nature will keep him longing for more.
Obviously, he can still screenshot these pictures, so trust is a major issue here. Never feel forced to send him a picture you don't feel comfortable taking.
6. Train your man.
Sexting isn't just about keeping your man happy; he needs to work hard to make sure you're enjoying it, too. This means that you may need to "train" him to make sure he's sexting you the things you like and enjoy most.
- If you don't enjoy his straight-to-the-point, "Wanna bang?" sexts, tell him.
- If you don't like his constant stream of dick pics, tell him.
- If you prefer a long build up during sexting, let him know and give him examples if necessary.
7. Weave a narrative.
A very effective sexting tip is to weave a narrative into your messages. This way, you get to build slowly up to a climax, teasing and tantalizing him all the way. In other words, tell him a story of what you plan on doing to him.
Instead of sending this sexting example, "I'm going to make you blow your load later," try this one instead: "When I come over later, make sure you're wearing something that's easy to get out of and make sure your roommates aren't there. I've been so damn horny all day long, and it's making it pretty difficult to get any work done. I think I might have to take it out on you. I need to feel you on top of me, pushing my arms over my head."
This story is far more compelling than just one simple sext. It paints a picture of what you plan on doing to your man. So, the next time you're sexting your man, try to make if a story for him.
8. Avoid going overboard.
Now you know how to sext your guy to build sexual tension, keep him thinking about you when you're not around and make sex red-hot. If this has made you eager to start sexting your man, then great.
However, I do have some words of caution: Sexting is a spice, not the main course. If you go overboard with it, your man will quickly grow tired of it, and it won't be particularly effective.
If you can do it just enough, then it can have an incredible impact on your man, and he will become addicted to it. You can learn more powerful sexting examples like the ones above, along with detailed guides for improving your love life, here.