5 Reasons Your 20s Aren't Meant To Withstand A Serious Relationship

by Amelia Coggin

It seems like every time I log onto a social media website, I see someone I went to high school with is either pregnant with her second child, getting engaged to a significant other or already settling for divorce.

Coincidentally, almost every single one of my close girlfriends is in a serious relationship where she eats, sleeps, bathes and basically prospers together with her partner.

Meanwhile, the only date I’m capable of keeping is the one I have with the gym every day.

Why are women in their 20s unduly obsessed with the idea of monogamy so early on in life?

Getting out of a rocky four-year roller coaster of an unhealthy relationship not only gave me the wake up call I so desperately needed, but also gave me a taste of the amazing freedom in your early 20s.

It is so damn invigorating that I absolutely refuse to give it up for just anyone.

I thought my ex-lover made up a large part of who I was, but in reality, he was keeping me from reaching my true potential.

There are so many life-changing moments to experience while solo in your 20s, and it almost makes sense that all of my past relationships have ended so tragically.

Maybe I have my sh*t together after all.

There are reasons as to why our 20s aren’t structured to include just anyone:

1. Being selfish while you still can.

Your 20s are considered your "selfish years" for a reason. You are responsible for one person only, and that’s you.

Why are you in such a hurry to worry about someone else?

You have no ties, meaning you can travel whenever, live wherever your heart desires, decorate your apartment however you please and do whatever the hell makes you happy.

This is all done without the annoyance of someone else telling you otherwise.

Take full advantage of the time you have to solely focus on yourself.

2. Losing yourself in someone else.

In my past relationship, I became so enthralled in loving this person, I ended up losing myself while I tried to fix his problems for him.

I slowly began to surrender the fuel that fired my various passions and ambitions, due to the toll this relationship put on my mental health.

I was losing sight of what our 20s are all about: discovering ourselves.

This is a process that has to be done on one’s own time, solo dolo.

3. That’s that sh*t I don’t like.

I'm not saying you need to try out every bicycle in the store, but you should certainly test-drive a few before you take one home with you.

Your 20s are what test-driving is all about.

Being single during this fun time in your life gives you the space to find out what you can't — and can — live without.

4. Your crazy needs to come out and play.

Your wild phase might last a week, a month or even a few years. Either way, you need to get the bad boy-loving, table-top-dancing, all-night ragers out of your system for good.

That way, when the right one comes along later down the road, you’ve been there and done that.

FOMO won’t exist in your vocabulary, and you’ll be ready to truly settle down.

5. There's the exception.

There's always an exception to every rule.

Some of us are lucky enough to meet the right people at a young age, but the rest of us need a little more time to get our ducks in a row.

Your 20s are one of the only times in your life when it’s somewhat socially acceptable not to have all of your sh*t together.

Go out and embrace the hot mess you are.