5 Things We Think Are Major Turn-Offs To Guys, But Really Aren't
As a guy, I often hear female friends talk about what they think guys worry about. My advice is, stop thinking like a woman. Instead, think like a man.
Just picture the scene: You walk into a room. It could be an old school house party, bar, work event or whatever. If you ever feel even slightly self-conscious about showing up at the door, consider if a guy would really care about any of the stuff going through your mind.
As a good rule of thumb, if a guy is into you, he likes you and and digs you. He would be shocked by the fact that you're self-conscious about anything at all. Just remember that when you first hang out together, even the most outwardly confident dude is way more worried about what you really think of him than anything else.
Let's chop this down to the bare essentials and get rid of the worst culprits of these low-confidence thoughts. Remember that guys really don't care about any of these things:
1. If You Sweat
I hear this one all the time. To be open and honest, the opposite is normally the case. Saying you sweat can often be an attraction builder. It's not a turn-off.
For a good guy, the fact that you're saying you've been to the gym, and therefore see the value in taking care of your body, is probably going to be a turn-on.
To a quality guy, an interest in your physical health can indicate a positive attitude, and it suggests that you commit to something on a regular basis. This then adds reliability to your skill set mix.
Since a guy who is into you will have thought about getting physical with you, the fact that you're sweaty can increase his desire in the moment for you. Remember that the male mind simply can't help but associate sweating with sex.
Of course, if you exercise and sweat, but then don't shower, it's going be a real turn-off.
2. If You Text First
We love overthinking messaging and texting. Stop it. Guys also get nervous about making the first move. If you feel you are throwing yourself at someone without thinking it through, maybe don't jump to do that. Your heart might get broken.
But sending him a cute, flirty text first lets him know he won't be rejected, and that's a major reason most guys don't make a move. As a rule of thumb, if it feels right and not desperate, just go for it.
3. Cellulite (Or Any Body Fat You're Conscious About)
If you have stretch marks, the same rule applies. Articles, blogs and, of course, porn all imply that men only go for women with perfect bodies. If you find a guy who doesn't accept you for who you are and wants to change you, show him the door immediately.
The good ones don't care about your imperfections. In fact, they actually find those imperfections attractive. We are only individuals because we are each different. It is our differences that make us unique and beautiful. Most dudes don't mind, and to be frank, once you you undress in front of him, he won't be noticing any of the things you're self-conscious about.
His attention will be focused elsewhere. No decent guy rejects someone because of a little bit of cellulite.
4. If You're A Good Dancer
How many of us really know how to dance? But, we all can have a bit of rhythm. Guys can be intimidated by other guys who know how to dance well. So, watch out for this and reassure your guy that it's fun dancing with him.
Most guys assume that most women (you included) dance better than they do. Many men will assume you know what you're doing, and this assumption won't change even when you feel like you have three left feet.
Just go with it. Let go and have fun. It's just about having fun together, so dance like no one is watching. Watching you let go and relax will give him permission to follow suit and relax, too.
5. If You're Not Into The Same Movies Or Music
It's more important to be willing to try new experiences. It's totally OK to like different things.
Often, the things we spend our emotional energy worrying about are often way off the mark. Often, what you're obsessing about is the last thing on his mind.
We all have our insecurities, and sometimes, just sharing and laughing about them together can help reduce the pressure. If a guy does care about these things, you need to get rid of him.