5 Ways To Get Better At Trusting Yourself When Looking For Love

by Anne Cohen

Sadly, when it comes to heart break, it's pretty unavoidable.  That is, if our hearts are open to love (as they should be).

The most we can do to avoid heartache and pain is to make smart decisions about who we date, who we let into our lives and who we get close with.

Having said that, we can avoid causing others heartache as much as possible. Just as we should date people with caution, we should also be cautious not to hurt others.

In order to avoid causing others pain or heartache, we shouldn't be misleading about our intentions and motives. We should also be honest and direct, and avoid dating people we know aren't right for us. But most importantly, we should get better at trusting ourselves, and learn how to make the best decisions for who we are.

1. Be cautious, not afraid.

It doesn't take a genius to fall in love. But it definitely takes intelligence to fall in love the right way. By "right way," I mean that you have to be cautious during early dating, and not let yourself develop feelings for someone that won't be right for you.

Sure, someone might be right for you right now. But, they may not necessarily be a great match for you in the long run.

It's important to differentiate a momentary feeling of rush and excitement from a feeling that will last and develop into a healthy long-term relationship.

2. Be open to falling in love, but not with the wrong person.

I'm a big believer in having an open heart when it comes to dating and meeting new people. It's important to let down your guard, and embrace the opportunity to love in order to be loved in return.

The problem is that many times we're open to falling in love, but with the wrong person. It's important to recognize that if someone doesn't seem like the right match and you notice red flags or things that you know won't sit well with you in the long run, not to develop feelings for that person.

3. Ask questions, and listen to your instincts.

It's important that we listen to our instincts. You're not supposed to have an open heart and be willing to fall in love with just anyone.

You should have an open heart to getting to know someone, and to see if they're the best possible match for you.

If people would ask the right questions during early dating, truly get to know someone on a deeper level and not just superficially, the dating scene would be a lot smaller. People would likely avoid heartbreak after heartbreak, and more often than not, find their match a lot quicker.

4. Know what you want.

It really seems like a no-brainer to many people when I say that they shouldn't be open to loving someone that's not good for them.

But the truth is, so many people are going from relationship to relationship without much success, and routed from this very problem.

You can't date someone for the mere idea of getting out, being busy, getting a free meal or even to just know that you've dated some high profile catch.

You have to have pure and honest motives as to why you're dating someone. It's imperative to know what you want, and it's more than OK to be picky.

5. Have honest and pure intentions

If your motives are simply to hookup with someone, then be clear about it to the other person. For the love of God, save them the heartache of possibly developing feelings for you.

Be kind and decent when you put yourself on the market to date. Have pure intentions. Don't mislead people into believing that your intentions are pure, when they're nothing of the sort.

Think of people as if they were someone really close to you, like family, or a best friend. Would you hurt your brother or sister by misleading them? What about your parents?

In the same vein, be honest and direct about your intentions when you date.