How To Begin Trusting Others Again After You've Had Your Heart Broken

by Ella James

It's been a while since your last breakup. You still miss the times you guys spent together, the laughs you had, the stories you told and the fun times you had.

You invested resources in that relationship because you were almost sure it would last forever. You had found your soulmate, and nothing would ever come between the two of you.

Then one day, everything came tumbling down. That person lied or cheated. Or even worse, they found someone better, which means they had been looking elsewhere, while you were busy working on making things better.

Your heart is broken and the little faith you had in humanity is lost. Why you? How, then, do you gather the courage to let go and find love again?

Here are five things to help you move past the breakup and learn to love again:

1. Learn to trust yourself.

It's often said that you can't give away something you don't already possess. You can't love other people unless you learn to love yourself first.

The same analogy applies to trust. That's why you'll need to trust yourself before you learn to trust others.

Remember when you had this strong feeling someone was cheating, and it turned out they were? That's how inner trust works. Learn to listen to your instincts, and you will learn to have confidence in yourself.

2. Focus on the positive.

While at times you may feel like your ex took you for granted and never appreciated your effort, the earlier you move on, the better.

Appreciate the times you spent together. They formed a part of who you are today. You may deny it, but the truth is, you had happy times. Focus on them, and remember there is more to you than your last relationship.

Realize that not everyone who comes into your life is meant to stay.

3. Be kind to yourself.

Getting over a breakup, especially when you were betrayed, is no easy feat. It feels like your life is on pause while you obsess over where it all started falling apart.

But more importantly, it's a time for you to offer as much love as possible to yourself. You don't have to rush to the dating scene to seek validation from people.

Right now, you should pursue things that matter to you — things that make you feel fulfilled. Spend time with family and friends. or revisit hobbies and interests you may have forgotten about. Focus on making yourself a better person.

4. Enter the dating scene with an open mind.

Yes, your ex-lover betrayed you, and things turned out the way they did, but there will come a time when you need to move on.

Seriously, it makes no sense to keep comparing every potential partner you meet to your ex. And there's nothing more annoying than a date who only talks about their ex.

Try to stop focusing on the past, and meet new people with an open mind. Leave any expectations or comparisons behind and simply have fun.

5. When you finally find that one person who deserves the stars and the moon, give them you best.

Learn from what happened in your last relationship. For example, let's say your last partner had an affair. Perhaps they felt lured by an offer of love from someone else and perhaps there were some warning signs you might have ignored.

Whatever the case may be, don't repeat your past mistakes in your future relationships. Make promises you intend to keep, and when things don't seem to be working out correctly, discuss your fears with your partner.

Learning to trust and love again after a breakup takes time, patience and commitment. It's a journey that should be handled with caution.

Take things one step at a time, and the fear, disappointment and anger you feel will be a thing of the past.