Denni Van Huis

It's Trust: 6 Reasons You Shouldn't Hide Your Phone In A Relationship

For the most part, those with nothing to hide are usually the most transparent in their actions. It’s really not too complex of a concept. The most confident people are usually the most outgoing, typically the most outspoken, too.

They don’t shy away from social situations, or aspects of their pasts, and never feel ashamed to show others the "true" them. Generally speaking, what you see is what you get.

Having said that, those with insecurities tend to carry themselves differently – and likely because they do, in fact, have something to hide. They’re less outgoing. They look to avoid long conversations. A lot of times you might consider them difficult to read.

And, a lot of times, this occurs as a result of them trying to be people they’re not – in an attempt to cover up, or compensate for, those same insecurities. With that being said, insecurities don’t usually arise without some reason, or justification, behind them. People who look to hide things do so because, well, they actually have things to hide.

Imagine being at a nice restaurant and ordering an expensive bottle of wine. Before your tuxedo-clad waiter will even think to pour out your glass, he will undoubtedly provide you with a sample, for you to taste prior.

This is his way of showing you he’s confident of its quality, and has no problem letting you taste it before subjecting yourself to it – at $17 a glass. In effect, he’s showing you he has nothing to hide.

In most cases, the wine is usually perfect – or good enough, anyway – and you’ll simply nod in approval, before allowing him top off your glass. If the wine wasn’t good, however, I highly doubt they would’ve let you sample it before serving.

Nevertheless, like I mentioned earlier, people with nothing to hide are usually the most willing to let others in on aspects of their lives – similar to our waiter and the bottle of wine we hypothetically ordered.

This concept most certainly overlaps in the world of dating, specifically the personal life of your significant other. Everyone has certain doubts about his or her partner – and, while a good many of these apprehensions come from a place of paranoia – there are some that stem from places of reason, places of logic.

Realistically, a lot of these issues result from a place called “your phone.” If your significant other is prone to hiding his or her phone, or the contents of said phone from you, it’s probably because he or she does have something to hide.

I hate to be the bearer of bad (and, in part, paranoid) news – but understanding that might in fact prevent more extended disappointment down the road. Listen, I understand phones are private devices – and, within relationships, members deserve their own privacy – but withholding information, of any type, will inevitably result in skepticism from those on the outside.

It’s not so much that you might necessarily want to read through her emails or look through her picture reel, just the same, as much as it’s the fact that it’s taboo to you, which happens to keep you up at night.

Here are 10 reasons why you should never date people who hides their phones from you.

Today, in many cases, your phone is indicative of your life.

In today’s “digital age,” or whatever you’d like to call it, people’s faces are plastered to their phone screens nine times out of 10. What does this equate to? Our phones becoming little, hand-held versions of our own lives – full of all our likes and interests tailored into “apps.”

By preventing someone you’re in a relationship with from having access to your phone, you might also be preventing him or her access from a part of your life he or she may feel more secure being let in on.

If the names don’t add up, the story probably won’t either.

If your boyfriend or girlfriend isn’t doing anything shady on his or her phone, there’s zero prerogative to try and keep things from you.

If, however, you start noticing texts from certain names you have no knowledge of, within your partner’s life – and the excuses aren’t really adding up – it’s probably not by any great coincidence.

Your partner isn't guarded by a password.

When in a relationship, you should have full openness with your significant other. This concept can’t follow a “sometimes” policy, though, and only be enforced when it’s convenient.

If a four-digit password is the barrier between you and certain aspects of your partner's private life, I don’t know, that feels as if you’re on the outside of something important.

There isn’t anything you could find on there your partner wouldn’t say to you

Your significant other shouldn’t feel protective over the contents of his or her phone, at least not when he or she is the same person in real life, as he or she is under the surface of that touch screen.

If your partner is fearful of you seeing something you wouldn’t like, well, then, maybe you’re not the right person after all. Phones should serve as phones, not sources of inconsistency regarding someone's character.

Phones can create separate realities.

Whether you choose to accept it or not, phones can often create an entirely separate sense of reality from one’s own physical life. If this weren’t the case, catfishes would still just be ugly fish – and not an ugly person posing as hot chick, behind a phone or computer screen.

While you’re pretty confident your girlfriend or boyfriend isn’t living a double life, inside that iPhone, you really can never be too sure in today’s era.

It’s not an extra limb.

People should stop taking their phones so seriously. For many people, it acts as an extension from their hand – and they treat it with as much seriousness as they would a part of their body.

Sure, I get it, phones are certainly important – but when people start mistaking them for aspects of reality, that’s when they become troublesome.