Why 'Opposites Attract' Is Basically A Myth When It Comes To These 4 Topics
When you first fall in love, you're usually not thinking about all the variables of your personalities and backgrounds that come into play.
Obviously, you and your partner will have some things in common or you wouldn't have started dating them in the first place. But when it gets down to deeper, more serious beliefs, you might realize you two are pretty different people.
Of course, some people may be able to look past those differences, refusing to let them ruin the relationship. But if you're a passionate person, and so are they, there are bound to be some difficult conversations. Those differences can only be put off for so long.
Here are four situations where your opposite may not attract as much as you think it will:
Religion can be a pretty touchy subject. Tons of people say you shouldn't mention it on a first date, and sometimes, people end up putting off this topic for quite some time.
Religion can be a pretty touchy subject.
You might be an agnostic, while your boyfriend is a practicing Christian. But if you are really opposed to organized religion, you might have a hard time understanding him, especially when marriage and children come into the mix.
Political beliefs are also difficult to see eye to eye on, as many people have pretty strong, steadfast opinions in this area.
There's a reason we don't usually say anything political unless we know the people around us feel the same way — no one likes a fight.
To be fair, I have met a few people who can actually talk calmly about opposing views, but these majestic creatures are few and far between. Normally, people get so frustrated that the person can't see their side of things. Then, they get pissed off and may let you explain yourself.
If your partner is one to get frustrated with opposing views easily, then opposites attract may not be on your side when it comes to politics.
If you think about your best friends, you'll notice some of them were probably raised similar to how you were raised, given that you get along with them so well.
But it can be a little different from people who come from totally opposite pasts. For example, if you're from an upper-middle-class family, it's likely you didn't grow up with same struggles as a child with a less fortunate background did.
So while you're excited about your next hair appointment, perhaps your boyfriend can't imagine how you can spend all that money on it.
In this case, if one of you is unwilling to try to see things from the other person's perspective, your relationship might run into some trouble down the line.
Multiple studies have concluded that finances are the number one thing couples fight about in a relationship.
If you wanted to take a trip to Europe you've been dreaming about forever, but you can't invite your partner because you know they won't have the money for it, you might begin to feel like they're holding you back, even if you hate to admit it. You'd have to leave them out of your plans, which might make you feel guilty in return.
The Beatles were optimistic when they said love is all you need. I'm sure I felt that way when I was younger, but growing up, you learn that love alone won't solve everything.
The Beatles were optimistic when they said love is all you need.
It's hard to when you're clouded by the honeymoon phase ends. But once the initial infatuation fades, you might realize you and your partner are two very different people.
All in all, it's better to discuss all of this earlier in a relationship rather than later. As much as opposites attract, it probably won't last.
This article was originally published on Unwritten.