Tinx Wrote You A Texting Script For Every Tricky Dating Situation
Everyone knows at least one quintessential girl’s girl. In high school, she’s the one who gives you a ride home when you’re stranded at school with only your learner’s permit. In college, she’s the girl you become besties with while in line for the (disgusting) bar bathroom. In adulthood, she’s the only person you can text, “SOS: What should I wear?” ahead of your first day of work. On TikTok, she’s Tinx.
Tinx, aka Christina Najjar, is often and affectionally called TikTok’s big sister — and it’s a role she takes very seriously. Considering she has 1.5 million TikTok followers, many of whom see her counsel as gospel, that’s a very good thing. Tinx approaches her sea of followers — whom she refers to as the “loves of her life” — with TLC. She advises them with a sensitive honesty on all aspects of life: career, friendships, and (of course) romance.
Tinx is best known for her guidance when it comes to dating, particularly for women who date men. Her collection of hard-earned dating theories include: Box Theory, which posits that men instantly put their romantic prospects in a box — either date, hook up, or ignore; Reverse Box Theory, which suggests that women do the opposite, planning out their future with men before they even know if they like them; and Stockbroker vs. Venture Capitalist Theory, which says that men date based on exactly what’s in front of them — like stockbrokers — while women date based on potential and like to invest — like venture capitalists. And Tinx is only getting started. On Feb. 21, the TikTok star launched It’s Me, Tinx, a biweekly podcast with SiriusXM, to do more deep dives into all of these topics — something the 3-minute time limit on TikTok doesn’t allow for.
Some of Tinx’s best advice comes in the form of texting scripts. During her regular Ask Me Anything (AMA) sessions on Instagram, she often encourages those struggling with an unrequited crush to take a risk. Her fave go-to? Send your potential flame something like, “I think I’m going crazy because I keep dreaming about us smashing.” (Tinx was raised in London, BTW, hence the casual use of “smashing.”)
Her texting strategy is bold, and that’s on purpose. “If you don’t say it out loud, how will the universe know that you want it?” she asks me. And instantly, I get it. Tinx isn’t recommending this up-front message to fit into some Gone Girl-esque “Cool Girl” monologue. Her goal is actually to keep her followers from wasting their time.
“I really just try to remind people time is limited. Make sure you're investing it in people who actually care about you.” She adds, “I think the mistake people make is prolonging finding out the answer.” That said, Tinx’s texting strategy is forward, flirty, and game-free. So without further ado, here’s exactly how to text like Tinx:
Her Favorite Texts To Send And Receive
“My favorite text to send is probably, ‘I love you,’” Tinx explains. “I say that so much.” But that doesn’t mean she expects everyone who texts her to be just as lovey. Her favorite text to receive is a little more vague and slightly sexier: “I’m thinking about you.” As for her favorite text she’s ever received? “You’re going to have a podcast.”
Her “I’m Crushing On You” Text
Tinx’s texting strategy straddles the line of being honest and keeping things mysterious. You don’t want to give everything away at once, she says, but you do want to give your crush just enough info for them to make a move. That’s why Tinx loves sending, “I’d really like to get to know you more,” to put the ball in their court. Her one tip? Skip the emojis. “It’s cooler without,” she says.
If they match your energy, great. If not, it’s time to move on. That means no texting your crush purely to gauge their interest in you. She explains, “I probably wouldn't send a text to figure out if they like me or not. To me, [their feelings] would be more shown in how much they're texting me and if they texted me after a date or whatever. If I have to ask, it's a ‘no,’ you know what I mean?”
If things start to get a little more serious, Tinx likes to give her guy a heads up about how she’s feeling. Sending a text like, “You make me really happy,” or, “I'm having a lot of fun with you,” are both Tinx-approved options if you’re ready to be more vulnerable.
Her Favorite Way To Flirt Over Text
Though Tinx loves a sensitive text as much as anyone, the art of the flirt-tease is not lost on her. “I always default to making fun of someone. But that's the British in me. I like to banter with someone,” she explains.
To keep things lighthearted, she’ll also throw in her favorite flirty emoji: 🙃.
Her Booty-Call Text
As Tinx keeps reminding me, there’s a way to put yourself out there without giving your crush all of the power — and setting up a hookup is no different. Tinx’s script for a booty-call text changes depending on whether or not they’ve already hooked up. “But,” she adds, “I always like to go with, ‘I just had a crazy dream about you last night,’ or something like that where it's just opens it up in a sexy way.” Let it be known: Tinx likes her texts the same way she likes her margaritas — spicy.
Her Morning-After Text
It’s a little less sultry, but no less fun. Again, she likes reverting to a teasing tone with her potential beaus. “I use humor quite a lot in those situations so it's not so cringey,” she explains. “I'd probably say like, ‘You snore. Good thing I had fun last night.’” (Sorry, Tinx, stealing this one.)
Her Text To Rekindle A Former Flame
As much as Tinx loves to speak her mind, she also likes being pursued. That means rekindling a past romance isn’t high on her to-do list — TBH, it didn’t even make it to her Notes app. “If they want to reach out, they'll reach out,” she says.
Still, if you want to put a few feelers out there, Tinx has a script at the ready. “You can always be like, ‘I was thinking about you today. Hope you're well.’” But after hitting send, leave it at that. “See what they say,” Tinx suggests. Don’t get too wrapped up in how they respond though. Another one of Tinx’s tenets? Men always come back or their lives get worse.
Her Text To Set A Boundary
Every relationship requires some healthy boundaries — especially when you really care about someone. And it doesn’t have to be a heavy confrontation, either. A quick text can do the trick.
“Honesty is the best policy,” Tinx recommends. “Just say, ‘Hi, I need a little space from [fill in the blank]. It's not personal. I know you care about me, so thanks in advance for respecting [what I need].’” See? NBD.
Her Apology Text
“Don't qualify your apologies. Just say [them] straight up,” Tinx says. And although IRL apologies can go a long way, sending an initial message over text is completely OK. “I think it's totally fine to send a nice, straightforward apology over text... Sometimes it's a bit much to do in person,” she explains, “And then if they want to follow up and talk to you in person, you can.”
Here’s what she would send: “Hey, I'm really sorry for what I did. I want to acknowledge that it was wrong for X, Y, Z reasons. And it probably made you feel [fill in the blank] way. Totally get it if you need some space from me right now. But just know I'm thinking of you, and [I’m] here when you're ready to talk.” Take it from Tinx, a girl’s girl always owns her mistakes.
Her Advice For Sending A Rejection Text
Tinx is a huge proponent of dating karma and stands firmly in the anti-ghosting camp. (As she should.) Of course, sending a rejection text can feel awkward, but as Tinx says, “It’s not that hard.” She adds, “You're saving them time, and you're saving yourself time.”
For this sitch, her go-to script is all about being sensitive but straightforward. She suggests, “Hey, I've really enjoyed getting to know you. I think you're great, which is why I want to be up-front with you. I don't feel a romantic connection. I respect you a lot, so I wanted to tell you. I wanted to be honest. Good luck out there again. You're awesome. XX.” Ahem, remember what I said about her being British?
Tinx adds, “[Being honest] is so much cooler, classier, sexier, [and] better karma.”
Tinx’s Breakup Text Advice
In short, do not do it. “If they're your boyfriend, you have to suck it up and go over there,” Tinx says. (The rules are different if you’re only casually seeing them, BTW. If that’s the case, please refer back to her rejection text.)
As someone who refers to her anxiety as Mr. Anxiety with ironic affection, it isn’t exactly surprising that Tinx doesn’t believe in the nerve-inducing “we need to talk” text, either. Breakups are hard enough — and in her view, a preemptive text hurts more than it helps.
So how should you call things off? “Always go do it at their house, so you can leave,” Tinx suggests. “You got to [go] like a ninja in the night. [You have] to be like, ‘Hey, I'm coming over. I got ice cream.’”
And yes, this is actually a breakup method she has used before. “In 2020, I broke up with someone, and I brought them fro-yo.” Take it from Tinx, breakups are always better when they come with sprinkles.
In a June 2021 AMA sesh, Tinx told her followers, “When I think about successfully dating, I think about wanting to love often and deeply, wanting to get to know myself and others, and wanting to be treated with respect... And having fun.” With her texting strategy, she puts those goals (plus her plethora of theories) into action. The result is pretty damn eloquent with just enough spice to keep things interesting. So really, it’s no wonder her followers are eager to pass their phones over to her expert hands — as for Tinx, what’s a big sis to do except type?