13 Things Women Need To Stop Writing In Their Tinder Bios Right Now

by Taylor Wagner

Unlike most of the major dating apps you'll find in the App Store, Tinder has a reputation of being more for hooking up rather than legitimate dating. While tons of people have had fantastic nights, broken inexplicably long dry spells and/or questioned their morals following Tinder one-night stands, plenty of people have also found their soulmates by mutually swiping right.

However, the ridiculously high number of fake female profiles on Tinder has caused men to look at profiles through a microscope in hopes of determining whether they're real or fake. Unfortunately, simply being a real person on Tinder isn't enough to automatically warrant a right swipe from a guy who's "introduce to the parents" material.

For the women who still hope they will meet a guy on Tinder who can meet their high standards, these are the things to leave out of your profile to avoid being swiped to oblivion by your Prince Charming:

1. Writing, "I'm not good at bios," in your bio.

What an awful first impression. If there's one thing you should know, it's yourself. If you're unable to come up with one decent sentence about yourself, then how will you keep me entertained on our first date?  You probably won't. And I'm not going to risk that torture.

2. Demanding that men swipe left for dumb reasons.

"Independent woman. If you can't handle that, swipe left." Yes, I can handle an independent woman. Do you think I want someone who clings to me 24/7?

Independence is actually pretty ideal, but you just made yourself sound stupid. If you were Beyoncé, this would be a different story. But you're not.

3. Writing, "It's going down, I'm yelling Tinder," in your bio.

Although liking Kesha automatically gives you major brownie points for seeming fun, there was an epidemic that took over Tinder a while ago where 95 percent of females' profiles featured this quote.

Not only does your lack of originality instantly subtract those brownie points you earned upfront, but also the fact that you probably haven't updated your bio in the three years that "Timber" hasn't been popular makes me think that 1) you suck, or 2) you're way behind the times. And it's going to take way too much effort trying to catch you up.

4. Ambiguous pictures.

We've all heard of the "Cheerleader Effect." We get it, women look more attractive in groups.

But if you make it impossible to narrow down which one you are out of your plethora of group photos, I'm going to assume you're either trying to trick me into swiping right, or everything we end up doing will involve your friends. And I don't have the patience or sexual capacity for that.

5. Your age is set to 25, but your bio says, "Actually 19."

I have my preferred age range specifically set for a reason.  Do you think I set it that way so some underaged girl can try to pull a quick one on me?

I don't care if you feel mature for your age. No, I won't buy you and your friends a handle of Pink Lemonade Burnett's.

6. Writing, "I can't believe I'm on Tinder," in your bio.

You mentioning how you're disgusted with yourself for being on Tinder doesn't exactly make me feel warm and jolly about being on Tinder, either. I'm looking for someone who will complement me, not someone who makes me feel like a pathetic piece of sh*t before I even meet them.

7. Having sassy height requirements.

"Unless you're 6'2", I'm not for you." "6'3" is good with me." Really? You're 5'3" in heels. You're the perfect height for 80 percent of American males, yet you demand on looking like Smurfette next to Andre the Giant.

The fact that you have your standards hammered down to an exact inch makes me feel like you're extremely shallow. If you're looking for a guy who's 6'2", weighs 186 pounds, never needed braces, rescued a puppy named Eli, was born in the Midwest, loves Jose Cuervo and is allergic to Pine-Sol, then get off of Tinder and hire a professional head hunter.

8. Writing, "Just here because I'm bored," in your bio.

Well, that's no way to find something serious. Get a hobby. The fact that you like to heartlessly judge people's appearances in your free time makes you seem like an awful human being. No punchline in this one. Get a life.

9. All of your pictures are taken at a funky angle.

Men want to see a variety of pictures. We don't want to see five pictures of you holding the camera way above your head, angled downward. We couldn't care less about your pouty face and disgusting bathroom sink in the background.

If all of your pictures are very similar, I assume you only look good when photographed from that angle and making that expression. Who cares if that's not actually the case, I'll never know otherwise because you did a horrible job of marketing yourself. And that's what we're really doing on this app, isn't it?

10. Not smiling in any pictures.

You're looking for someone to bring home to your parents, right? Well, men are doing the same. Just like how you (hopefully) wouldn't be swiping right on a guy who scowls and pouts in all of his pictures, men don't want a girl who seems incapable of showing joy, either.

Men want to see your smile because it's the expression we want to be causing you to make. I don't care if making a duck face accentuates your cheek bones.

11. Adding scandalous pictures.

Do you want to find a respectable guy? Then have some respect for yourself. Don't have half-naked pictures of yourself in your profile.

To specify, don't have intentionally promiscuous, half-naked pictures of yourself. Go ahead and post your beach pictures (don't get carried away ... just one or two is enough). Those are great. Keep up the good work.

What I'm talking about are pictures that most women would only send to someone they trust. Yes, you'll get a ton of right swipes because of those pictures, but the guys swiping right on those are the same guys you're constantly complaining about.

12. Writing, "Just message me and ask," in your bio.

I love how open you're attempting to seem, but this leaves me and all other men with nothing to work with. Think of Tinder as being solicited by a telemarketer. When they call you, you don't know them. So, the salesperson obviously isn't calling you just to say, "Hey," and wish you well.

They have a reason to call. So, give me a reason to message you. When you tell me to, "Just ask," I feel like I need to ask you what I'm supposed to ask you about before I'm able to ask you anything. I don't know anything about you, remember?

13. Writing no bio at all.

This is literally the worst thing you can do. If you have no bio, you're essentially saying, "I think I'm so hot that I don't need to be interesting at all in order for guys to like me." I suppose that's fine if you're just looking for a hookup, considering being able to hold a conversation is the least important quality to have in that kind of situation.

But if you're looking for the real thing, Justin Bieber said it best: "If you like the way you look that much, oh, baby. You should go and love yourself."

Of course, there are exceptions to every rule. But come on, ladies. You only have a few seconds at best to catch someone's attention on Tinder. Why would you waste those precious seconds doing any of the things listed above?

Are you fine with having your closest male companion being Schmidt from "New Girl"? Well, let me tell you. Schmidt (and all other respectable men, for that matter) want someone who's engaging and entertaining.

Yes, guys will flock to you on Tinder, regardless. But if you want the right guy calling your name, do us all a favor and avoid doing these 13 things. You'll thank me later.