Relationships

9 Signs You're Having A Threesome For All The Wrong Reasons

by Nicole Riley Banner

It's 2016, and more guys are fantasizing about having threesomes. But it is normal to feel averse to this type of sexual act. Typically, the men romanticize bringing a third party into the relationship to spice up their sex lives.

Many couples look at threesomes as sexy, fun and out of the ordinary experiences. Others feel their relationships would get completely destroyed after exploring a sexual tryst.

Although the pros and cons seem to be no-brainers, here are nine things you should consider before becoming a plaything (or adding one) in the bedroom:

1. Pleasing Your Partner

If you are doing this strictly to please your partner's fantasy, make sure you make it story-worthy without becoming upset. Or worse, heartbroken.

2. Communication

You and your partner must lay down ground rules if you want to enjoy the sexual experience. If you both are open and honest about your likes and dislikes, things will go much more smoothly.

It doesn't matter whether it's threesomes or combinations of others getting involved. It is absolutely paramount that you have a serious talk beforehand.

Prior to entering the bedroom, discuss with your partner what your “hard limits” are before it's too late. For instance, are you okay with blowjobs? Is penetration allowed with the third person?

3. Attention

Be aware that your partner will not be able to give you his or her all. When attention is divided, things could get tricky. If this is a heterosexual relationship, adding another female puts more pressure on the male, as he has to please two people at once.

If two people are enjoying themselves and exclude the additional partner, it can also ruin the desired experience. After not receiving attention, the other person could feel left out or intimidated.

4. Threatening The Relationship

Keep in mind that things could go very wrong, especially if the idea of a threesome doesn't excite you both from the beginning. Some couples rush into the fantasy before admitting they are uncomfortable with the idea.

It might take a while to rediscover the spark you once had with your partner.

 5. Jealousy

Happy, healthy couples who introduce another person into the bedroom can risk experiencing jealousy -- whether it's during the sexual encounter or after -- as a result of not trusting the partner anymore.

Seeing your loved one touching someone physically and emotionally may change the way you feel about him or her.

 

6. Ongoing Activity

Your partner may tell you it will be a one-time thing to satisfy his or her fantasy. Then, suddenly, it becomes an ongoing activity.

Some couples regularly hook up with other people and enjoy it. Many are trying to break the normal routine of two people by adding a third, and as a result, they are enjoying it more.

Going against the status quo makes them feel empowered and highly desired. But if you allow yourself to continue a relationship with a third woman, you will never be the only woman.

7. Regret

If you have any regrets, life goes on. But will your relationship? If you were never dating, at least you can knock this fantasy off your bucket list and focus on moving on.

He could also start to fall for the other girl, and end your relationship for her. The worst case scenario? After you have a threesome, you may come to realize it was never really your thing.

Life goes on. But you potentially could lose the one you love, or realize it wasn't meant to be from the start.

8. Not Mixing Best Friends And Boyfriends

Try refraining from adding someone you are close to to the equation. If things go wrong, you'll never be able to look at each other the same way again.

If you do choose to spice up the relationship with a third party, make sure it's not someone either of you know. Make sure you're both on the same page.

9. Being The "Other Girl"

Essentially, the couple is the buns. You are the meat in between.

You are a plaything or a one-night stand, and that typically isn't respectable. The only difference is, you're dispensable, and you may feel like you're making a foolish mistake by getting involved.

If no feelings or jealousy are involved, you may be able to walk away with a smile on your face. It could be the fantasy or wild experience you've always wanted.

But remember: You are just "the other girl." Ask yourself, "Is it worth all the risks, and possibly losing a partner?"

Also ask yourself if the threesome is for both of you or one of you. If only one's person's sexual needs are getting satisfied, it's probably time to start reconsidering the relationship altogether.

Our society is still considered monogamous-centric for many reasons. But if you're interested in exploring with your partner, see what happens. You may enjoy yourself.

Take it for what it is and go for it. You may enjoy "breaking the rules" and your routine. Nevertheless, continue to ask yourself why you're doing it in the first place.

In reality, if you have strong feelings for your partner, you may not want to watch him or her get it on with someone else.

You may also be setting yourself up to experience heartbreak and loss of trust. Before you add in an accessory, make sure you're the necessity.