So you two likebirds have been hooking up for a while now, and as much as you promised yourself you wouldn't, you've caught feelings.
You think he's caught feelings, too, but of course, you haven't talked about what you are yet, and of course, you'd rather die than be the one to bring it up.
You're caught in relationship purgatory, and, well, it's driving you a little bonkers.
You've done a pretty good job at keeping your "crazy" a secret from him... until last night.
Maybe you were a few drinks in and decided to start crying and tell him you love him.
Maybe you saw him talking to his female co-worker at the bar, and you decided to march up and pour a drink on her head.
Maybe you drunkenly went through his phone and confused the "love you" text he sent to his sister for a text he sent to another girl he was banging, and you decided it was totally appropriate for you to call him out for it.
Whatever the case, you lost your cool. And now, you're spiraling big time. Here are all the thoughts you'll have.
1. Was I really that bad?
2. Let me text 87 of my closest friends and see what they think.
*8 million texts later*
3. OK, so it was bad.
4. But Allie was crazy to Josh when they were first hooking up, and look at them now!
5. Maybe we can be like Allie and Josh.
6. Yeah, that's the good part of this all.
7. If he still likes me after this whole fiasco, he actually really likes me.
8. I mean, that was the CRAZIEST side of myself. It was honestly BRAVE of me to show him that.
9. Ugh, if I just knew WTF we are, maybe I wouldn't be feeling SO crazy.
10. Yeah, this is honestly HIS fault for being so vague that he's actually driven ME crazy.
11. I didn't even like him that much in the beginning!
12. HE was the one chasing ME.
13. Why do I have to be the psycho who's obsessed with him now?
14. Ugh, fuck the patriarchy.
15. This is the patriarchy's fault.
16. OK, fine. It's maybe slightly also my fault.
17. Maybe I should text him to apologize.
18. Well, let me ask my friends what they think I should do.
*texts the same 87 friends*
19. All right, seems like we're at a 50/50 split on the whole "apologize or don't apologize" debacle.
20. So that leaves me... right where I started.
21. IF I WERE TO APOLOGIZE, what the eff would I even say??
22. What if he's totally over this whole thing, and he just hasn't texted me today because he happens to be busy?
23. Then, I'd text him, remind him of the whole thing and make a mountain out of a molehill.
24. But there's also the chance he isn't texting me because he's actually really upset about it, and he's now reevaluating our entire relationship.
25. Wait. OMG. Did I just use the word "relationship"?
26. UGH, WE ARE NOT IN A RELATIONSHIP.
27. Maybe I am crazy.
28. OK, no. I'm not going to apologize.
29. Not only do I not want to draw attention to it, but we're not even in a relationship!
30. I don't owe him anything!
32. OK, that was nice and empowering for a second, but now, I'm sad again.
33. Ugh, he's probably telling all his friends about how nuts I am.
34. Even if it does work out, his friends will all remember the one time I went crazy.
35. Yep, I'll always be the crazy girl, and he'll never marry me because his friends will all object.
36. Better adopt some cats because it's sure looking like I'm dying alo—
37. OMG. STOP EVERYTHING! HE TEXTED ME!
38. OK, play it cool. It could be him ending things.
39. Breathe. Here it goes. He said, "Hey babe!! I was so drunk last night haha how are you holding up today?
40. OMG... HE was so drunk.
41. Maybe he doesn't even remember my crazy!
42. AND HE'S TEXTING ME, SO HE STILL OBVI LIKES ME.
43. I'M NOT DYING ALONE.
44. SWEET GLORY ALLELUIA.
45. Crisis averted.