Ladies, I'm tired of hearing about your man woes. I'm tired of hearing about why being single sucks (guilty as charged, though, because I complain about it all the time).
But I've snapped out of it and booked a solo trip to Switzerland (YOLO!) and I couldn't be more excited. This past year, I've been focusing too much on guys and not enough on myself and I've learned one huge lesson: Do not ever chase a man.
Chasing a man only ends in sorrow and heartbreak. I would know because I've tried to get many men in my day to like me back and have failed miserably.
When we're single and not chasing men, many of us tend to focus on all the downsides of being single. Well, what about the upsides? That you are free to do whatever you want, whenever you want? Remember those?
That's what I'm here to remind you of. Freedom. Sweet, holy freedom. Here all the things you should chase instead of men because these things are guaranteed to bring you happiness:
1. The body you've always wanted
Revenge bodies work. Every. Single. Time. I like setting #GymGoals for myself because it's real progress you can see. Plus then, you can post a photo of your hot bod on Instagram and the guy you were chasing will regret passing you up like a mofo.
2. But also, chocolate
And freshly baked cookies, ice cream, raw cookie dough, Belgian waffles and French toast. Because a single girl has got to treat herself to all the best things in life. Otherwise, what's the point in living?
3. Solo trips
Have a place in mind you've been wanting to go to ever since you were a little girl? Save some money up, book the trip and make it happen. No excuses. The most fun part isn't even the destination. It's the fact that you're going alone with no one around to tie you down.
4. A reliable vibrator
One that won't shut down on you mid-masturbation. Trust me, in this life, there are really only two things you need: a battery-operated device and your hand. The rest is just luxury. So, get in touch with your bad self, OK?
5. A really good read
Those are hard to come by these days, but they're out there. Need a starting point? Start with this (hehe).
6. A morning ritual tailored to you
The most successful people are early risers. They credit most of their happiness to waking up and meditating, exercising or doing yoga. They usually also don't check their phones or social media. Get in touch with yourself from the moment you wake up and you'll see what a difference it makes.
7. Sample sales
Nothing warms my heart more than a good sample sale. Seriously, can a man fill the same void a marked-down pair of Stuart Weitzman flats can? No, he can't. And you can take THAT to the grave.
8. Good health
Whether that means physical health or mental health; being single is not an excuse to give up on yourself. If you're feeling heavy to the point of detriment, focus on your physical health. If you're in a slump, focus on your mental health (I'd recommend a therapist and really good friends). So, yes, chase chocolate. But also take care of yourself.
9. The perfect cup of coffee
Every morning, I leave my apartment and hop right on over to Starbucks to order my usual: an iced grande caramel coffee. I literally can't start my day or talk to any humans before I have Starbucks running through my veins. It's what I look forward to most in the morning, despite it being such a little thing. But what makes us happy is finding significance in the little things.
Don't start your day until you've had the absolute perfect cup of coffee. You deserve nothing less.
10. Your dreams
I can't count the number of people I see settling down before achieving their dreams or having an idea of what their dreams even are (seriously, how can you commit to sharing your life with someone before figuring out what the hell it is you want to do with your own life?).
I've met a ton of men who have been intimidated by my career, but IDGAF about losing them because I love what I do more than I love the idea of being in a relationship.
Always remember this: Your dreams come first. You come first. And that whole love thing? It can wait.