I've been single for a while now, and I can definitely say it is a liberating experience.
You are on your own and forging your own path. You get to know who are, what you are capable of and determine your likes and dislikes.
Ultimately, you become one of the strongest people out there because you are going through life experiences on your own. You have the opportunity to decide who you would like to be without the distraction of another person.
Self-love is what we all need, and being single definitely gives you plenty of time for this.
However, though I'm a realist and an optimist, being single is not peaches and cream all the time, especially in a society that praises being coupled up.
Let's face it, there are plenty of moments where single life can suck, but having people around you who uplift you and don't add fuel to the fire with incessant questions about your non-existent love life make being single that much easier.
Social etiquette exists, but so does single-gal etiquette, people. Here are seven things we need to stop asking our single friends immediately.
1.“Are you seeing anyone?”
Yes this is a just a question out of curiosity, but perhaps your single girlfriend didn't exactly hope to have this question brought up on your girls' night out, considering she may have days where being single is starting to get to her.
If you are out with girlfriends or are just chatting with another female and want a life update from her, perhaps asking, ”What's new?” is a better question. It isn't as forward and it allows your single girlfriend to just share what's happening in her life on a whole and the conversation has a chance to move in all kinds of directions.
By just automatically going into the whole “Are you seeing anyone?” spiel, you could risk the chance of the whole conversation going either sour or awkward.
2. “I'm wondering if there are any eligible bachelors out there for you… ”
This is honestly just another way to make someone feel bad about her single-girl status.
It's one thing to pry into someone's personal life, but finding a list of “eligible bachelors” just implies to me that that being alone right now isn't enough, so let's just rush and find someone for you immediately.
If your girlfriend is open to meeting someone, that's great, but automatically assuming that it's what she wants right now is annoying AF and just plain rude.
You may be happily coupled up and want to share that joy with me, but girl, if I didn't ask, stop all that assuming.
3.“I know it's going to happen soon!”
Aw, thanks. But unless you are a psychic I am not sure if you know exactly when love will show up on my door.
Friends and family usually mean well by this, but telling someone you know that love will happen soon is semi-dangerous because may or may not happen as soon as she would like.
Don't assume you know everything unless there is a definite reason to believe this.
4.*proceeds to list places where a prospective man will be*
Thank you, but no thanks. I'm pretty sure I am aware of how this all works, but as I have explained , it just hasn't happened for me yet.
This honestly just turns into an awkward conversation where the person across from you is thinking intently on the next list of places to recommend for you while you sit there and feel bad about life and everything in between.
5.“You're still living the single life, eh?”
Well, I don't know, but the last time I checked, being myself isn't such a bad idea.
Of course this question is absolutely rude to say to a single friend or family member, but we proceed to still continue to say this without any consideration for how the person on the other side of this may feel.
Being single isn't a curse whatsoever, and it can actually be one of the most enriching periods of our lives. But the tremendous amount of emphasis that we place on our relationship status makes it seem like being alone is a problem.
We definitely need to keep this etiquette in mind and remember that maybe not every single gal we meet feels comfortable being asked or confronted with certain questions and insinuations.
She may be single for a while, but how is that an issue? Love happens differently and is on a different timeline for everyone, so why make her feel bad for something she may have absolutely no control over?
Love happens differently and is on a different timeline for everyone
It's easier to just uplift your girlfriends in general and just celebrate life, happiness, growth, etc. It's time we ditch the way to talk to each other and just accept each other for where we are in every stage of our lives.