5 Ways To Use Your Breakup As Motivation To Reinvent Yourself

by Akash Gautam

This very topic — inspiring things to do after breakups — lights me up a little.

As a youth motivational speaker in India, I find doing post-romance talks quite interesting.

We all have seen a variety of mourners.

The pain may initially be very real and unbearable. But even after the worst breakup, we sleep at night, don’t we?

Trust me; it's okay. We don't always end up with our soulmates.

I understand the pain, but I do not understand the fact we cannot get away with it.

Our inability to move on only stems from us not wanting to move on in the first place.

I think one of the biggest reasons why people find it difficult to move on is they keep thinking about the sad parts.

If we could only try to focus on those moments that made us smile and be grateful we experienced that bliss, even if it was short-lived, it would become a lot easier.

It is a difficult thing to do, I agree. But most of us don’t even get close to trying.

A post-breakup period is the peak of demotivation, late-night sad songs and bad addictions.

Ordinarily, people keep falling into this abyss.

On the other hand, stellar people do the following to stay afloat, swim faster and win the race.

Here are five inspiring ways to get over a breakup:

1. Get back to your hobbies.

Remember those nice little things we probably gave up for our relationship?

Well, now is the perfect time to resume or pick up new and exciting hobbies.

I think picking up a physical activity or pursuing our older passions with much more rigor and discipline is a very inspiring way to move on from a bad relationship.

Thirty minutes of some physical activity every day keeps a lot of my own emotional upheavals at bay.

Your hormones also listen to your screaming muscles, which probably ask them to calm the heck down.

An hour of dancing, painting a canvas or getting lost in a mind-blowing book can do wonders.

If you read a book with all the attention you can muster, you will not only calm down, but you will also stop thinking about your own story for while.

When hobbies start becoming habits, we start nailing it.

2. Start remembering your purpose in life.

Yes, you had a purpose before you fell in love.

Even if you didn’t have a goal, now would be a very good time to make one.

Some of the best goals could be one of the following: Don't fall for the wrong person again, try to wait for the right one or filter people more cautiously.

Whatever they may be, find your goals and start working on them. It will be hard initially.

Your doggedness about your goals will form a concrete wall around you and protect you from a lot of bullsh*t in life. And this is not just for post-breakup phase.

Even when you are in a relationship, losing track of your goals in life is a very bad idea.

View your goals as your umbrella in the rainforest of crazy, broken relationships.

It will shelter you and protect you from a lot of unnecessary disappointment.

Seriously, you have only one life to live. Chase your dreams, not people.

The best people will come into your life when you are becoming stellar and working toward your dreams.

A person who is fulfilling his or her dreams is so much more attractive than a person with a miserable outlook.

Move on in style.

3. Get into good habits.

Now that you don’t have to make late-night calls, why not utilize the time in a more sensible and productive way?

Sleep early, get up early and go for a walk. Nature can heal you in an innumerable amount of ways.

You also save a lot of physical and emotional energies that were getting consumed in an exhausting relationship.

Use this time to improve on things that need to be improved upon.

You can start with your own mistakes in the relationship.

Are there any flaws in your nature that need to be fixed?

What did you learn from the relationship?

Are there bad habits that need to be changed? If yes, now would be a very good time to do it.

4. Don't stalk your ex.

This is the worst idea ever. There are so many better things you can do online.

Wasting time staring at your ex’s Facebook pictures, mindless tweets and Instagram posts is the most disappointing use of your Internet connection.

Quit all the drama.

Stop calling or bombarding your ex with texts and WhatsApp and Facebook messages that reek of desperation.

Grace is a much better option than grease.

Handle yourself gracefully, and make grace your walking stick in life.

Drama is for kids. Mature people step into their love stories, and they do not fall relentlessly in love.

With a little effort, they can step out of it, too.

They don’t stalk, drunk call or booty call their exes.

They just move on to better things and to their better selves.

It takes control, yes. To not bother them takes patience.

But understand your ex is also trying to move on.

Why not give your ex some space? More importantly, why not rise yourself up from the ordinary to the extraordinary?

Maybe your relationship was a really beautiful one, but if you broke up, there must have been a reason.

Remember that reason when you do these stupid things, and stick to that reason when you get the urge to stalk your ex next time.

Abstaining from stalking is inspiring because it shows you are getting back control on your emotions.

5. Forgive your ex and yourself.

Holding a grudge, a soft corner or any sort of intense feeling will do you no good.

You will bore a lot of people around you with your constant moping.

It is like driving a car on the highway with handbrake on, when there is no incoming traffic. Where is the fun in that?

Let go.

It doesn't matter who made the big mistake; just let it go.

If it was you, forgive yourself and move on. If it was the other person, extend the same generosity to him or her as well.

Forgive, but don't forget your reasons. They will keep you from committing the same mistake again.

Forgiving is not easy, and it takes all the mental strength you can muster.

It definitely makes you a bigger and better person.

Forgiving entails you accept the fact certain things are out of your control, and you have the courage to fight your own demons.

But most of all, forgive because it will help you.

When you do not forgive, you give your ex a rent-free space in your mind.

If you want to stop loving your ex, forgive him or her and move on.

The opposite of love is not hate; it is indifference. Indifference will only come when you have forgiven.

There are many other thing you can do after a breakup, and the for the sake of hair salons, I hope a new hairstyle after a breakup works for the ladies and the gentlemen out there.

And sometimes, people just get sloshed and wasted. Do whatever floats your boat.

If you have to come out of a not-so-happy experience, why not do it in style?

Why move on like other ordinary people do?

Why not emerge to be an extraordinary person from this experience, like a phoenix that rises from the ashes again and again?

Moving on is inevitable. How fast you do so is the choice you make.

Just ensure that when you finally do it, you have changed to become a more inspired, motivated and lovelier individual than you were before.