Guys will say just about anything to get into women’s pants. Seriously.
Not all guys. But the majority of men in this world are looking for hookups and nothing more.
I don’t think there is something intrinsically wrong with men wanting to get laid. I understand how that feels. But at the same time, it most definitely is wrong to tell women the things they want to hear just to get what you’re after.
Sometimes they are straight up lies. Other times the things men say are simply void of any real feeling and, therefore, void of meaning.
It’s all manipulation. And although we all manipulate those around us to get what it is we want in life, there is a line you shouldn’t cross. Getting what you want is great when the person you want is someone who wants you for the same reasons. But when you are saying and promising one thing but planning on acting in a different manner, that’s wrong.
It’s pretty fascinating if you think about it, isn’t it? The very same words can be uttered by one individual and mean nothing, yet uttered by another and mean everything. And it’s not just dependent on the speaker -- it’s dependent on the one whose ears the words land on.
Some things a man says only mean something if the woman he’s speaking to loves him. Even if HE truly does love HER, the words may still lack true meaning for her. They will fail to move her. They will fail to have any impact at all. Perception is everything -- and being the egocentric beings we are, our perception matters most to us.
What we’re all looking for is the perfect storm. We’re looking for the one we love to whisper beautiful and sweet truths in our ears. And when our perception and what we want lines up with reality, that’s when magic jumps out of the pages of fairytales and into our lives.
These five things only mean something to her when the man saying them is the man she loves.
1. “You’re beautiful.”
Maybe I’m tainted because I grew up in NYC, but all the women I know are told they’re beautiful at least half a dozen times a day.
Which is horrible. Why don’t I ever get told I’m beautiful? Men deserve some flattery, too! Kidding. Men don’t really care.
And neither do women -- at least, not when any random guy on the street tells them they’re beautiful just so they can maybe, possibly start a conversation. It never works anyway. If a woman is interested in a guy, then saying “hello” is more than enough of an intro.
However, when the right man tells a woman she’s beautiful -- when those words are pure and true, when she feels beautiful just for him having told her so -- that’s when those words become powerful. Otherwise, they’re meaningless.
2. “I’m excited to see you.”
Sometimes we hear that, and we get excited ourselves -- excited that the person we care about is excited about us. But when we don’t care for the person, then we don’t really care whether or not they’re excited.
Or rather, we know why they’re excited and aren’t impressed. When a guy tells a woman he’s excited to see her, it means one of two things: either he is excited because he’s looking forward to the time they spend together talking, laughing and exploring life, or he’s happy because he thinks he’ll get something a little extra out of it.
Unfortunately, the latter proves to be true only 90 percent of the time.
3. "I miss you.”
Sometimes it’s a straight out lie. Sometimes it’s sincere, yet unmoving. Women -- and men for that matter -- don’t care if you miss them if they don’t miss you. We only want to hear that people miss us as a means of confirmation that us missing them is okay.
In fact, most of us say “I miss you” in order to verify that we’re not crazy, that this is something real, that the feeling of longing is mutual. If she doesn’t miss you, then she will reply to your “I miss you” with something like, “Aw. Thank you.”
I’ve been there. And if your words are sincere, it sucks to be on the receiving end. However, it does tell you what you’re trying to make work is most likely not going to work. You can try to keep at it, but your chances of success aren’t great.
Then again, I’m a gambling man. If you want something bad enough, then you need to place your bet.
4. “I love you.”
There is no other phrase, in any language, that can both hold as much incredible power and meaning and be completely and entirely empty as, “I love you.”
“I love you” means very little these days. Those three words slip off our tongues like a “hello.”
But how could it not when peoples’ actions don’t mirror their words? How can someone say he loves you and then treat you like garbage? How can he tell you he loves you and then cheat on you? Lie to you? Abandon you?
People confuse the feeling of being in love with actual love. Being in love is entirely egocentric and personal, but actually loving is something different -- it’s something shared between two individuals, something you can’t fake or purchase.
So don’t be surprised if she doesn’t believe you when you tell her you love her. She hears the words, but she doesn’t see it. She doesn’t feel it. And because of that, she won’t believe it. It means nothing to her.