The Truth About Real Love You Only Learn When You 'Almost Love' Someone

by Gigi Engle

It seems when we’re not looking for a relationship, that’s when one finds us.

Isn't that how it always happens? It’s like we’re putting off some signal that reads, “I’m finally happy just being with myself,” and suddenly, someone appears who wants to be with us.

New relationships are as scary as they are exciting.

Especially when you were perfectly happy with your single life, not really willing to settle down and do the whole “commitment” thing.

You were wholly satisfied with your job and with relying on your friends for company.

Yet, here is this amazing person who wants to be with you.

Maybe you’ve been hurt before and are guarded, or maybe you just don’t want to dive into something serious.

You hold them off for as long as you can.

This new person in your life fights to be with you, and you've got to admire him or her for really wanting this.

It’s flattering to be pursued. It feels good. It feels good to be wanted, to be told you’re special.

As much as you don’t feel you need it, you start to really want it.

Perhaps it’s finally having regular sex again, or maybe it’s the fact that this person is someone you can really laugh and be yourself with.

Either way, you start to find your heart weakening to him or her.

You start to realize you really are having feelings for this person.

So, after much resistance, you acuiesque to the label and become someone’s girlfriend or boyfriend.

You know you were happy being single, but that doesn’t mean you don’t want to be loved, right?

We all just want to be loved when all is said and done.

You finally get comfortable.

It takes awhile for you to finally feel relaxed in this new relationship. You’re a strong person who is, all at once, afraid of getting hurt.

As the months pass, you let your guard down like you said you never would.

Everything just feels so easy. You start to miss him or her when he or she isn’t around. You long for your partner.

When you’re together, you find yourself constantly wanting to hold your partner's hand or kiss him or her. It’s like you can’t get enough. Just like a good orgasm, once you get a taste of love, you just want more of it.

You’re happy in a different way than you’ve ever been before.

You’ve officially stopped worrying about getting your heart broken because you’re in a healthy relationship for once.

You fought this, but now you’re so glad your partner stuck it out.

He or she couldn’t hurt you. How could someone who wanted you so badly ever do anything to ruin this?

You're "almost in love."

You start to realize you might actually love this person. You can feel yourself falling for him or her more and more each day.

You even admit to your best friend that you might seriously be falling in love.

You, the perpetually single friend, the person always so obsessed with your freedom has, in fact, gotten bitten by the love bug.

You’re happily surprised you can have feelings like these after all.

You’re not even frightened by how good it feels. Everything is going to work out this time. If things can go on this way, you’ll stop “almost loving” your partner and start to really, deeply love him or her.

It's that strange cusp between intense infatuation and losing your heart completely.

Your love does not come easily, but once given, you are all in. For you, it is everything or nothing. This feels like everything.

And then suddenly things end.

Then, as quickly as a shooting star brilliantly soars through the night sky, it's all finished. Your partner ends it. You didn’t see it coming. Or at least you pretended you didn’t.

Once you’re wrapped up in someone, once your heart is in it, it’s very hard to accept that it isn’t going to be your happily every after.

One day it was, and the next day it wasn’t. It wasn’t your choice. That might be the hardest part of it.

What did you do to cause this? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Things just end; they don’t work out.

The fiery passion you had with your partner just dissipates for him or her. He or she disappears. You’re left to burn up.

You kick yourself for getting yourself into this mess. You didn’t even want this in the first place, remember?

You let yourself have feelings. This person made you fall for him or her only to destroy everything like a sudden and mighty cyclone.

It’s so incredibly disappointing. You don’t even know who your partner is anymore. It’s almost terrifying. Who did you give your heart to?

You could have really, really loved him or her. You almost loved this person. You almost got to a place where you could have given him or her everything. You were happy and comfortable; now you’re alone.

You find self-love again.

The only thing you can do is pick up the pieces of your life and rekindle that love you had with yourself long before you fell into a relationship.

You have to remember you were happy with your life without this person, and you will be happy with your life again.

This person doesn’t deserve you. He or she was never going to give you the kind of unconditional love you needed.

Take comfort in that. It was better to know sooner than later.

Your heart may be aching, but people come into our lives for a reason. They teach us what they need to teach us.

Sometimes, they weren’t meant to be in our lives forever. It’s a hard to truth to accept, but we have to in order to survive.

Just be happy that you CAN love someone.

Now that you’ve opened your heart to someone, maybe next time it can be something more than "almost love."