Remember when he accidentally butt-dialed you after that horrible breakup? For a moment your heart began to thump uncontrollably through your chest and suddenly there was hope that maybe, just maybe, somewhere deep down inside, he felt bad for what he did.
That feeling, that glimmer of hope always seems to keep us hanging on until the last possible moment. It pulls at our heartstrings and is often the cause of our continuous pain far after a relationship has ended. But why have we gotten so used to being there at the ring of a bell?
It's simple, really: We are firm believers of giving things a second (or third) chance. We always seem to think that this time, things will be different; like suddenly everything that was a problem before simply doesn’t matter anymore.
Once we are emotionally attached to someone, it’s hard to give up that connection and go back to pretending like we don’t care.
Little things he does don't help us, either. A “what’s up?” text here and a Facebook post there are small things that add up to the constant reminder of what went wrong in the first place.
Someone always has the upper hand when it comes to relationships. There’s usually "liker" and a "likee." The liker is normally the one looking for a reason to strike up a conversation, while the likee is the one that interacts in a way that makes it impossible to guess how he or she actually feels.
Too often we are left feeling confused because of the way someone seems into us one minute and uninterested the next. These hot and cold extremes are the biggest reasons we hold our attention long after we should.
It’s understandable that sometimes guys don’t know what they want, which gives them a reason to be so wishy-washy, but what’s the point in keeping us waiting around? The answer is simple: The better grip they have on our emotions, the more they know we’ll stick around as a safety net.
Once we finally get the hint that we’re actually just the back-up booty call, we begin the trivial game of not caring. We start the practice of moving on, and we pretend like we’re completely over the fact that he led us on in the first place.
Then, after a great month of finally feeling good and getting on with our lives, he'll realize we’re not thinking about him anymore. It’s as if this little notification pops up on his phone and out of nowhere, he calls you.
He starts chatting about his family, school or what he ate for breakfast and then they drop the bomb: “Hey, let’s get together like old times, maybe watch a movie or something.” And just like that, we fall right back into that deep, dark hole of doom.
Girls, stop falling for it time and time again. Instead of doing exactly what guys think we’re going to do, do the opposite. The only reason they get away with this game of consistently messing with our emotions is because we let them.
I’m not saying you have to be immature about the situation; I’m just saying don’t stand for it anymore. I know it’s easier said than done, but he (or she) who cares least is normally having the last laugh.
Sometimes you just gotta do what you gotta do. Delete him from your phonebook, block him from your news feed or even unfollow him on Instagram to get the full effect. Let’s face it: The less you concern yourself with his constant life updates, the more likely you’ll come out on top every time.
Photo via No Strings Attached