Relationships

Thank You: Everything I Want To Say To The Woman Who Stole My Boyfriend

by Kate Thora
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Dear Woman Who Stole My Boyfriend,

I've gone through a full range of emotions relating to what happened, and I've come to a few important conclusions. I've looked back on things and learned a lot, and I have a few choice words to share with you.

Some of these words are words you may not expect, which makes it very important that I relay them to you.

I've come to realize that you didn't steal my boyfriend. He was capable of making his own choices. You didn't pull him against his will, and he wouldn't have ultimately gone if he didn't want to.

He saw something in you that, for whatever reason, meant more to him than what we had built together. It must not have been very important to him if he was able to throw it away on a whim.

You simply presented him with an alternative that he found more appealing.

I have to thank you for that. I was investing my whole heart and soul into a relationship, and I thought my feelings were being reciprocated. They weren't.

If you hadn't come along, I would have continued to give myself to someone who didn't appreciate me. I would have continued to build a life with someone who was treating me as if I were temporary.

It took you coming along for the veil to be lifted, and if you hadn't been there, who knows how long I would have continued to live a lie...

I no longer have to make compromises to appease someone who never appreciated them anyway. I'm free to live my own life without that burden, and find someone who will enjoy the journey of life with me. I would have never known I wasn't getting what I truly deserved if you didn't shake up my world and open my eyes.

Although it caused me pain at first, I have to tell you that I appreciate you for showing up when you did. It would have only hurt more later on. It would have hurt the worst if I had allowed him to become my husband without knowing he didn't have genuine intentions.

Whether you realize it or not, you kept me from living a lie. You played a critical role in helping me live the life I need to live. Even if you didn't intend to aid me, you've put me on a better path. And that's exactly the reason I'm writing a thank you note instead of a hateful note to you.

Speaking as the woman who came before you, I feel like it's only my duty to help you in the same way you helped me. My boyfriend was the kind of person who placated me just to get what he wanted.

If he truly meant that he loved me, he never would have allowed you to interfere in our relationship. He never would have made the choices he made.

This is something I want you to consider about his character, because there's absolutely no telling whether or not he will do the same thing to you.

We've both had our lives touched by this person. For me, it was great at first – until I realized how much time I'd wasted believing that he meant the things he said, and felt the things he claimed to feel.

I don't harbor any resentment toward you, and I hope you didn't make the same mistake I made when I chose to share my life with him. Whatever choice you make, I hope you too will find happiness and make peace with yourself.

Sincerely,

The Woman Whose Boyfriend You Stole