Many of us women wonder, “What ever happened to all of those suave, romantic men we were promised as little girls; all of those well-mannered and sensitive princes that we grew to long for?” The answer is pretty simple ladies.
It's our own fault! Yes, that's right, the same group of women that is sitting around wondering why men are so immature, lazy, and couldn't give a damn about romancing are the underlying reason for the lack of gentlemen in this world. We, as women, have grown so desperate to find a man that our standards have drastically diminished.
Nowadays, men can get away with just about anything and it's deemed okay because well, you know; “he's a guy, what do you expect?” I say, start expecting a hell of a lot more than what you've been getting!
Men have the capabilities to be charming and legitimately fun to be around, they just don't find the need to anymore. Pretty soon a simple wink will get a girl into their bed, so what's the point in trying? Ladies, if we want to change the type of guys around us, we need to start elevating our standards.
“Call me, maybe?”
I understand that there have been many advancements in technology over the years (texts, imessages, facebook, emails), but all of those aren't much use when it comes to getting to know someone. How can you possibly have a meaningful conversation without hearing a person's tone of voice or speaking to them directly? Nowadays, guys are all about texting.
How about picking up the phone and having a real conversation? To the women out there, a guy should care enough to call and hear your voice, not just text you mental fragments that don't require that much thought all day long.
What's painful to observe is how modern women get excited over the ambiguity of texts because our minds can twist and turn the meaning of them to suit our desires or initial impressions. In a typical guy's mind he just saved himself a lot of “wasted” time from being on the phone with you, but a gentleman will want to hear your voice. Lesson: Make him call!
“Going Dutch? We won't be keeping in touch.”
It's truly great to see so many independent women out there who make their own money, pay their own bills, etc. This, however, doesn't mean that it's no longer socially acceptable for a man to pay for a woman's food or drinks on a date.
When a guy takes a girl out, it's both respectable and masculine to pay. It's not because we can't pay for our own dinners or tickets, it's because as a gentleman, he should flip the bill. When I go out on a first date, I always offer to pay (it's the courteous thing to do).
However, if my date ever told me to pay half, we wouldn't be speaking to each other again; even through texts. There's no reason why if as a woman, you are able to pay for the both of you and yet he isn't. Lesson: He pays!
“2 a.m. I Miss You's”
One word: drunk. Let's get real, he had 18 other hours in the day to say he misses you, but only chose 2 a.m. when he's an intoxicated fool who probably didn't get lucky that night. The naive and uninformed modern woman thinks, “omg finally he's telling me how he really feels!” etc., etc.
No! How he really feels is horny and alone, so let's not start kidding ourselves. If he missed you, he would've called in the morning or afternoon, made plans with you and actually made an attempt to see you for something else than a late night booty call. Lesson: Drunk dialing isn't love!
“Chivalry shouldn't be dead”
When was the last time you girls went on a date and a guy brought you flowers, opened the car door, or pulled out your chair? Those acts have become foreign and therefore unexpected in our minds. We have become accustomed to resorting to a text that lets us know they are outside to pick us up as a grand gesture of chivalry.
Genuine chivalry consists of the little things that men can do to let us know that they are in fact gentleman. If a monkey is capable of doing such effortless things, then so can a man. They just need to be taught.
Why not buy your lady a flower on a random Thursday, or help your gal around a giant puddle? It's pretty simple stuff. Ladies, we should in fact expect those things, and not be scared to let them know. Lesson: Great expectations isn't just a book!
So, in conclusion, we say we want a gentleman, but we have to make it a point not to let these guys get away with ill-mannered, lazy ways. We can't be so desperate that we let actions like the ones mentioned above become the norm. Women, know your worth and elevate your standards. Any man who is a true gentleman will rise to the occasion, and those that don't can stick to their right hand!
Diana Klebanov | Elite.