Don’t even start to call me a selfish bitch; I know for a fact that you’ve been there, too. We’ve all been there; we’ve all had that one person.
He's the guy whose sole purpose in life was to be obsessed with you. He's the one who laughed a little too hard at all of your jokes. He's the one you could count on for social media validation.
He cried like a baby to your best friend when he found out you were seeing someone else. He didn't let your 99 rejections stop him from asking you out for the 100th time. He's that guy.
He was always your Plan B. He was just always there. And then suddenly... he wasn't?!
Nothing is more infuriating. NOTHING. How dare he? His life was supposed to be devoted to you. Some people have painting. Others have rocket science. He had you. You were supposed to be his hobby.
Sure, you didn’t appreciate him like you probably should have, but you got used to that constant TLC! Did he even stop to think about what this sudden decision to move on with his life would do to you and your well-being? He can’t just take that love away from you with no warning!
Yes, you were in the wrong. Yes, you had your chance with him (and then some). And yes, it’s probably only healthy for him to move on. But that does nothing to alleviate your seething, fiery RAGE when he finally makes that happen.
So here they are -- your deepest, darkest, most irrational thoughts when someone who was obsessed with you decides to get over it.
You used to send me 100 texts; now I can’t even get one.
I know I called you a creepy pedophile for those “goodnight :)” texts, but I don’t even care anymore. PLEASE RESPOND.
You used to comment on all of my pictures; now I can’t even get a "like."
I KNOW you see it on your news feed, you passive-aggressive f*ck.
You used to drop everything for me; now you’re always doing something else.
Since when do you have a life?!
You used to drive by my house five times a day; now you won’t even pick me up.
Am I supposed to take a cab -- like some sort of peasant?
You used to be my Plan B; now you have your own plans.
Again, very unclear on when you got this “life.”
You used to pay me compliments; now you have your own confidence.
But your weak self-consciousness was the backbone of our toxic relationship!!
You used to call me "babe"; now you don’t even call me.
I could do without the pet names, but a nice call every now and then wouldn’t kill me.
You told me you’d wait for me forever; now you’re not even waiting by your phone.
Are YOU screening MY calls?! What alternate universe are we suddenly living in?
You used to laugh at all of my jokes; now you’re too busy making your own.
Is being funny something you’ve learned in this new “life” you’ve suddenly found?
You said you would never find anyone like me; now you like someone else.
Okay, fine. But I bet she could never emotionally abuse you as beautifully as I did.
You used to cry every time I rejected you; now you won’t even give me the chance.
You profess your undying love; I reject you; you cry. Repeat.
That’s our cycle. You can’t just go breaking the cycle! Who do you think you are -- God??
You used to send "good-morning" texts; now I can barely get a hello.
Ignoring me just makes this all so much more awkward, you stupid idiot.
You used to make sure I got home safe; now you don’t even know where I live.
I could be DEAD on the side of the road for all you know.
You used to put me in the center of your universe; now I’m not even on your radar.
Hello?! Hi! Still living and breathing here!
You used to stalk me; now you won’t even stalk my Facebook.
Just a simple like on every photo I ever upload. All I’m asking for.
You used to see me as your future wife; now you see right through me.
Okay, so I was a manipulative c*nt who used you for my own selfish entertainment… but I still liked it better when you saw me as a perfect angel. Can we go back to that?
You used to take me to dinner every night; now you won’t even give me the time of day.
You suddenly don’t even have a quick second to text me “Hi”? IT'S TWO LETTERS.
You used to walk me home; now you walk right by me.
Hello?! STANDING RIGHT HERE!!!!
You used to say "I love you"; now you won’t even say my name.
You don’t have to love me, but you could at least acknowledge me.
You used to invite me over; now we don’t even hang out sober.
Now YOU have to be f*cked up to call me?! But that used to be MY thing!!!!!!!!
You used to talk to all of my friends about me; now you won’t even talk to me.
A simple "Hey, what's up" is all I’m asking for here. Okay, that and your undying love.
You used to ask me out; now you won’t even ask how I’m doing.
I’m doing terribly, thank you. Now can you go ahead and fall back in love with me?
You used to… honestly, F*CK YOU.
You’ll be back, or I’ll die alone. One of the two.