Never Settle: If Someone Doesn't Blow You Away, It Isn't Worth It

by Paul Hudson

I wish I had someone in my life to call my own. Like everyone else, I want a partner. Unlike most people, I'm ready for a partner -- but I'm still flying solo.

Don't misunderstand me. I enjoy my solitude from time to time. I've grown to appreciate relying on just myself.

Being alone strengthens you, and it allows for a particular sort of drive: the drive to live your life in a particular way that only you can construct.


Being single seems to define "freedom." But freedom is overrated. We like the idea of having no responsibilities -- until we realize that a life without responsibility has no purpose.

We want our independence until we realize it can become a prison of its own. Most people vacillate between wanting complete freedom and desiring a partner.

We want the best of both worlds, and only a healthy balance will make us content.

This person has to be someone special, though. Unless this someone blows you away, what's the point?

Find a mediocre partner and have a mediocre love, and you'll find yourself with a mediocre life.

Life is too short to settle for something less than spectacular.

If you've ever been in love, you must have been blown away by the experience. If this new prospect doesn't blow you away, it's unlikely you'll be willing to settle.

In fact, if you aren't blown away by someone, you won't be capable of falling in love with him or her. That's what love is.

It's being caught off-guard. It's being surprised -- shocked, even -- that a person who feels so right really exists.

Why you're blown away doesn't make a difference. All that matters is that you recognize this someone as special, and worth both your time and devotion.

Simone Becchetti

It's not about going head-over-heels. The most experienced people know to stay on solid ground. But you need a support in case you lose your foothold.

If you look at your partner and understand that you've found the missing piece, then you, my friend, are one of the luckiest individuals in the world.

If this isn't the case, accept that something is missing and move on. It's best not to waste time, as you never know how much of it you have.

When it isn't the one, you'll always be looking for the next one.

People are restless; you'll be looking for greener grass before you know it.

Of course, happily ever after isn't always realistic. Some people simply give up and settle. But that certainly isn't right, either.

Sometimes settling is an acceptable option, if you realize that the chances of finding someone greater aren't worth risking the possibility of being alone.

While plenty of people have more than enough time to find the love of their lives, not everyone can manage to do so.

Some people settle too soon. But what can you do? We reap what we sow, and they'll learn from their mistakes.

For the rest of you, settling for something short of reality-changing is not acceptable. One day, you'll admit to yourself that your choice was not enough to make you happy.

You'll never be content if you continue to share your life with this person.


Partnerships shouldn't be simply bearable. They should be synergistic. They should improve your life, not just keep things steady.

You need to believe that your life can get better indefinitely -- because, sooner or later, you'll come to terms with the fact that your life is creeping toward its end. At that point, the only thing keeping you sane is the person you're sharing your life with.

If your partner doesn't blow you away, it isn't real.

Being blown away is subjective and personal. If your partner doesn't inspire and amaze you, you'll come to realize that you don't need him or her in your life.

You don't need the smartest, sexiest, most incredible individual. You don't need the person everyone's chasing.

You don't need someone who's perfect; you need someone that's perfect for you. You need someone who will make you feel most like yourself -- not the self that you parade in front of the rest of the world, but the person you know yourself to be.

This is the moment when you know you've found your soulmate. It happens when you find someone who appreciates you for who you really are -- and, just as importantly, loves you through all of it.

When you find this person, I can promise you one thing. No matter what ends up happening, you'll be blown away as soon as you meet. And it's going to be incredible.

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