RIP Starfish: 8 Struggles Every Girl Has Adjusting To Relationship Life
Arguably, the best parts about being in a new relationship are the slumber parties with your significant other.
In the beginning, he still feels so much like a crush, even though he is now your established bae. You still feel excited to spend “school nights” together, and it's a treat to cuddle and have pillow talk before you drift off to dream land.
It’s basically a milestone in any budding relationship. School night sleepovers mean you’re at a more serious level.
As enjoyable as the early stage sleepovers are, they can honestly be a smidge awkward for us former singletons. If you were single for any stretch of time (long or short), you get pretty damn used to your solo bedroom routine. This routine usually includes components you would rather die than show off in front of your fresh new bae.
The shocking single girl world usually includes the following thought processes and routines: bras are devilish contraptions, unflattering pajamas come on as soon as the apartment door closes, goopy face masks happen, Bravo TV is constantly streaming, retainers are on. I mean, you get the idea.
So, even though you can be through-the-moon excited about your romance, you still kind of crave your old “behind closed doors” bedroom behaviors. You don't know how to navigate your new routine.
Adjusting to sharing these golden hours AND a bed can be quite the adjustment for the independent, happy singles.
Girls in this position typically toil (happily) over the following:
1. To pack an overnight bag or not?
Your new boyfriend invites you over to cook dinner and watch movies.
You know there is a 99.9 percent chance you’ll spend the night, even though he didn’t outrightly say, “and sleep over.” You’re still new enough that a sleepover is implied, but not a sure thing.
So, does it look like you’re being over-eager by packing an overnight bag? At the same time, not having a toothbrush and fresh undies for the morning seems unbearable.
2. You feel like you don't get enough sleep, like, ever.
You’re used to being able to starfish and toss and turn as you please. Now, there's someone else to consider.
You are paranoid of every movement you make in fear of waking him. Getting up to go to the bathroom seems out of the question, so you hold it in discomfort, debating whether to get up until you just can't take it anymore.
By the time your alarm goes off, you wonder if you even drifted off to sleep at all.
3. You prefer "home games" to “away games.”
You aren't familiar with his place, so you prefer your own. Since it's your space (containing all of your stuff), you feel somewhat more in control of your evening.
Most importantly, you control the climate. (Why is every dude's house a straight up igloo?)
You would so much rather sleep in the cozy place where your toothbrush also lives than freeze your butt off in a bed you aren’t yet used to. It's as close as you can possibly get to a happy medium between your former routine and your new one.
You never want to agenda push, but you try and get him to come to your place as much as possible.
4. You feel like you have to get up at the crack of dawn.
A sleepless night with your hot new man also throws off your morning. Even if you pack an overnight bag, you’re still not comfortable enough to pack your hair appliances and makeup bag.
This forces you to hightail it back to your house in the am. By the time you get to work each morning, you’ve already driven around town twice, and you feel like you’ve been up for years.
5. Watch TV as you sleep or no?
Nothing throws a monkey wrench into a happy couple's enjoyable night in bed more than having one party preferring to fall asleep to the sounds of the television, while the other doesn't.
This is a completely black and white issue: There is no gray area and no ability to compromise.
Someone just has to suck it up. So you hope and pray that person isn’t you.
6. When do you stop wearing makeup to bed?
Every girl knows wearing makeup to bed is bad for your skin. But when you’re brand new in a relationship, do you start completely scrubbing your face clean before bed each night?
Let us dwell for a minute on the Algerian man who sued his new wife for fraud after seeing her sans makeup for the first time.
To wash or not to wash is a tough debate between treating your skin right, and having the extra confidence makeup provides.
7. Morning cuddles make you late for work almost every day.
Alarm goes off. Then, you turn over in bed and see a boy who gives you butterflies.
OF COURSE you’re going to hit snooze and soak up every last minute to cuddle. What's five more minutes later to the office, anyway?
8. You miss your alone time.
Even though you’re giddy about this boy, you go to bed some nights thinking, “I just need like one night alone this week, so I can get some sleep, wash my face before bed and sleep in a little later.”
You feel you’re ungrateful, since in your past, you hoped you would soon be falling asleep with a hot guy instead of your favorite stuffed animal. But now, you miss the good old days, just a little bit.
While all the aforementioned points are tricky little things to figure out while soaking up a new guy, in time, they will all be a thing of the past.
Embrace the confusion and the inconvenience, because it’s also fun and exciting. It forces you to break your mundane weeknight rituals and start enjoying a new relationship instead!
As comfortable as your baggy sweats are, you know, deep down, you prefer the cuddles with your hot man.