My husband is my best friend in the entire world. Now, before you go puking on your device, know that I was one of those people who really didn't believe in statements like that before I met him. After getting married, though, I realized the our love possessed many signs of a healthy relationship that I didn't have in my prior romantic attachments. I used to think if I basically got along with someone, then our relationship was healthy. (This might explain why I ran screaming from most relationships before.) Now, though, I realize there is so much more to a solid relationship than that.
Are you now in a wonderful relationship, too — one that you really didn't see coming? If so, you may be wondering yourself about whether you and your partner have a healthy coupling.
Well, all couples are different, and all couples will have little, unique things that work for them. That said, there are some common signs of a healthy relationship that make it easy to tell if you and your partner are on the right track. If you are, you'll likely feel it, but there are also benchmarks you can use to figure out how healthy your relationship is.
Here are 10 ways to tell that you and your partner have a great, healthy connection:
1. You Laugh A Lot
Do you and your partner crack up every opportunity you get? If you do, chances are you're in a great relationship.
My husband and I aren't big believers in "adulting." We feel that marriage, as a concept, should be about having fun with your bestie, not about the bills or the chores or the schedule. So we laugh, all the time. We have fun wherever we go and doing whatever we do. If you do, too, you'll be glad to know this says a lot about the positive health of your relationship.
2. You Enjoy Time Apart
It may sound weird, but if you and your partner feel good about spending time apart, your relationship is probably in a great spot.
Too often, couples think they are supposed to spend all of their time together, and if they don't, something is wrong. Well, it's actually the opposite: Healthy, separate time makes for a happier coupling.
You should feel secure and happy and relaxed when you and your partner are out separately. If you do, you have a great thing going.
3. You Make Your Own Rules
If you and your partner don't subscribe to what other people think you should be doing, then you're probably doing something right! Like I said, my husband and I hate what people normally think "marriage" is. So we created our own.
These days, it's easy to get caught up in the "shoulds" and "shouldn'ts" and "musts" of relationships. But those are all just someone else's rules. The happiest couples make their own rules and don't let other people's ideas of a relationship define their own.
4. You Have Healthy Couple Friends
Although some couples have mostly single friends — and that's fine — it's a hallmark of a healthy relationship to have other happy couple friends. Being around other happy couples gives you a great support system and helps remind you that other people work on their life and love, too.
My husband and I really cherish our other couple friends, and we're grateful to have people our age who know what it's like to be in a serious, committed relationship. If you have a lot of other couple friends, you guys are likely on the right track.
5. You Exercise Together
Sure, some couples aren't meant to be at the gym together, but if you are one of the couples who absolutely love working out with each other, consider this a sign of a healthy relationship.
Working out, although it relieves tension, can be stressful, especially when doing it with a partner. That said, though, for couples who prioritize their physical health, it can be an awesome activity to do together because it'll help bond you.
6. You Inspire Each Other
Is your partner your biggest cheerleader, but also your muse? If so, this is a great hallmark of a relationship.
Your partner should be the person who inspires you, the person for whom you want to be better. This isn't to say that they should make you feel like you need to change, but you should want to grow for them. If these things are true of your relationship, then you've found a great one.
7. You Disagree
I know, it sounds weird: If you disagree, you're in a healthy relationship? What? Yup!
If you and your partner disagree, it means that you love each other and trust in your love enough to know that neither of you is going anywhere. Healthy disagreement is natural and to be expected between two parties who are different, and the best couples know how to have disagreements without jeopardizing their entire relationship.
If you and your partner can disagree while still being loving and kind to the other, your relationship is in a great spot.
8. You Appreciate Each Other
One of my favorite things to say to my husband is "thank you" — for literally almost everything he does! I'm a big believer in the idea that no one is obligated to us, even in a relationship, and so when your partner does nice things for you, you should be grateful.
Having and showing appreciation for your partner will keep your relationship flowing positively for years to come. So if you and your partner are like a mutual admiration society, congrats, because this means you're in a healthy relationship.
9. You Show Each Other Your Flaws
Once again, you might be scratching your head at this one. Can a relationship really be that healthy if I show my partner all my flaws? Yes, it can.
Being vulnerable enough to open up about your flaws is the hallmark of a wonderful relationship. Just like having disagreements with your partner, revealing your flaws means you feel comfortable enough to be you. It means you and your partner know that you love and accept each other exactly as you are.
10. You Talk About Everything
Finally, the best and most important hallmark of a healthy relationship? You can talk about anything and everything under the sun.
My husband and I talk so much that people make fun of us. In fact, sometimes we talk about how much we talk. I know, we're nuts. But we also have a great relationship.
You and your partner should be able to openly and honestly chatter about anything. This is how trust is built and how your connection stays strong. If you can, and you do, this means you are in a wonderful coupling.
Being in a relationship with your best friend is pretty much the best thing in the entire world. If the two of you recognize yourselves in the signs on this list, it means that you have a happy, healthy relationship that will probably withstand the test of time.
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