Can we please take a moment to acknowledge the obvious? F*ckboys (and the topic of f*ckboys) are everywhere these days. So, let's be honest: F*ckboys are the worst.
As a society, we talk about f*ckboys so much. But what about the non-f*ckboys? We never hear very much about them, so where's their shoutout?
The non-f*ckboy is the goal, and he's the one we should be searching for. So, stop wasting your precious time with all the others.
Here are 17 surefire signs he's actually not a f*ckboy:
1. He's actually single.
He's not cheating on anyone by talking to you.
2. He knows your name.
He never even had to take you to Starbucks to remember it. He actually remembers it from the time you first met because he was that into you from the start.
3. He never asks for nudes.
Okay he did, like, once. But, it was in a classy and genuine way.
He appreciated them so much, and he even said something like, “Wow, you're so beautiful,” or “Your body is a wonderland.” It made you feel like you were posing for Playboy, not Hustler. You could tell he didn't show them to all his friends, either.
4. He's never sent you an unsolicited dick pic.
Your phone is finally the work-safe device you always dreamed it would be. With this dude, you never have to worry about that unsolicited dick pic popping up on your screen while you're showing your supervisor your vacation photos.
5. He doesn't have a name for his penis.
He also doesn't hype up what it can do.
6. Your friends have never had to beg you to stop communicating with him.
Let's be honest: Our friends know best, and a good friend tells it like it is. Often, we are swept away by the idea of a potential lover, and therefore, we become blind to f*ckboys and the way they tend to treat us.
So, if your friends don't have to hit you with the, “OMG, you really need to stop talking to him,” and you don't have to respond with, “That's just how he is,” congrats. Your man is f*ckboy free.
7. He doesn't hit on your friends.
He doesn't even do it when he's drunk.
8. He's never asked you for a threesome.
He's actually never even alluded to the idea of having one with you.
9. He texts you back.
In fact, he even texts first sometimes (and not just at 3 am to hit you with a booty call).
10. He talks about his feelings.
He doesn't do it too much because that's kind of weird, but he does it just enough to let you know he has them. He says things like, “I really like you,” and “I enjoy spending time with you.”
He does this in lieu of saying things like, “I don't believe in labels,” and “Let's just see where this takes us."
11. He was never in a frat.
He never even considered rushing one.
12. His idea of a date consists of more than some good ol' "Netflix and chill."
Instead of luring you to his place with promises of leftover pizza and some HBO GO, he actually wants to be seen with you in public. Your mind is probably blown by this.
It's OK. Let it be blown.
13. He literally never slides into your DMs.
14. You have this rare, refreshing feeling that you're actually the only lady in his life.
You highly doubt there's a side chick, and you truly believe the Chinese takeout number in his phone is actually Chinese takeout (for once).
15. He's not a smooth talker.
He tells you how it is, not just what you want to hear. F*ckboys know how to lay down that smooth charm. They know what to say in order to win a girl back, even after she swears she's “so done” with him.
Chances are, if he isn't that smooth, he isn't a f*ckboy.
16. His motto isn't "Bros before hoes."
In fact, he doesn't even refer to females as “hoes.”
17. He loves his mom.
He also loves his sister. He has respect for all women. Rejoice, for he is one of the good ones (and definitely not a f*ckboy).