We all like a man who takes charge in certain situations. However, there is a fine line between a man taking charge and a man who wants to be in charge all the time. If your man increasingly censors your actions or thoughts and chips away at your self-esteem, you may have what is called a controlling boyfriend.
Why do these douchebags act like this? Generally, this behavior stems from their own insecurity, or from the fact that they’ve been fucked over by a woman they had strong feelings for and are scared of getting hurt again.
The really messed up ones have grown up observing relationships where the man held the upper hand by controlling the woman, and their self esteem may be so low that the only way they can be sure that you will stay with them is to make you feel worthless. Whatever the reason is, it's bad news for the woman who had the misfortune to fall in love with them.
Here are a few ways to spot if your boyfriend is a control freak:
He puts you down constantly
Everything you can do, he can do better. He puts you down when you do something by yourself and makes you feel like you can’t do anything without his help. Everything you do he finds faults and flaws in. He does this so you’ll eventually lose your own confidence and end up depending on him for reassurance and assistance with everything you do.
Sooner or later you end up feeling like you’re useless, unattractive and lacking in any positive features or skills. He wants you to feel like you’re worthless without him in your life.
He hates all your friends
He finds faults in all of your girlfriends, calling them a bad influence on you. And your guy friends? Well, of course all of them are only friends with you because they want to get into your pants! Obviously, no one will want to be friends with you just because they enjoy your personality – everyone has an ulterior motive. He will start to choose who you befriend and tell you who you should hang out with.
Eventually, you’ll find yourself losing touch with most of your close friends, with only him to lean on.
He hates it when you have fun without him
Oh he’s fine with you having a good time – as long as he's right there with you. If you go out with your own friends for a night out, he sulks at home and gives you the silent treatment once you return – but he will never admit the real reason as to why he is pissed off.
And if you do bring him out with your friends, he will make no effort to engage with anyone else and sit in the corner glaring at you in an attempt to ruin your night. Afterwards, he will whine that “you ignored me” all night and didn’t pay him enough attention.
How to handle this? Hand him a tampon because he obviously has his period.
He makes his own rules
So he’s made it obvious that he hates it when you hang out with your friends – but when he meets his own friends, especially the ones that you dislike, he makes it seem like you’re the one who doesn’t understand them. So what if a few of them are ex-cons? They’re just misunderstood! You’re the one that’s being close-minded.
He gets to hang out with his guys anytime, but you are only allowed a couple of hours a week with your girlfriends. He makes plans for the both of you without ever consulting your schedule but bitches and moans when you do the same. He’s even allowed to flirt with other girls and accuse you of overreacting when you catch him out on it.
He doesn’t respect your space
Everything you own is his. Everything he owns is his too. He invites his dealer over to conduct drug deals in your apartment – and YOU’RE the one that’s overreacting. The last time you came home and you found his friends banging a couple of hookers in your bedroom, he expects a pat on the head because he didn’t join in.
It’s never his fault
Even when he obviously fucks up, he always turns the situation around so the blame is on someone else – but if you make a mistake? He will make sure that he constantly reminds you about it over and over again.
Don’t even try to complain about something he has done wrong – he will quickly turn the conversation around to all the things you’ve done wrong since the beginning of time. He’ll rattle off anything from not emptying the dishwater to that time 3 years ago when you forgot to pick up the dry-cleaning.
Seriously – it’s like this dude has a mental list of mistakes you’ve ever made in your life. This way, instead of accepting the blame, you find yourself on the defensive and in some kind of time warp. Finally you’ll end up giving in and accepting the blame because you think your head is going to explode.
Ladies – if this sounds like your man, detach yourself from his chains immediately, because such a man is not only difficult to be with, but has the potential to turn abusive and dangerous.
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Trophy Wife | Elite.