7 Reasons Why You Should Date Someone Who Calls You On Your Bullsh*t
People lie all the time. There isn’t a person in this world who hasn't told a lie to someone he or she loves or to a complete stranger. In fact, most people lie at least three times within the first minute of meeting someone.
Sometimes we need to lie to keep the peace. We don’t want to create problems; we just want to keep relationships where they are. Lying allows us to keep things the same.
The problem is people enjoy lying to themselves as much as they enjoy lying to the next schmuck.
It's a tool we use to maintain things, not to change them -- even if it’s best served to maintain just our egos. If you lie to yourself, your ego may stay intact, but the rest of your life is wasting away. Imagine how great it'd be if you had someone in your life to call bullsh*t on you -- lovingly, of course.
1. We often lie about how we’re actually feeling.
Not every part of life is pleasant. Some parts need to be unpleasant, uncomfortable, sad, infuriating -- even frightening. Life can be difficult, but only because it’s mentally exhausting. The emotions some experiences elicit in us literally tire us out.
When you have someone in your life to call you on your bullsh*t, he or she will talk to you until you open up. This person will listen to you and allow you to embrace what you’re not allowing yourself to feel.
People sometimes see emotion as a sign of weakness and pretend like nothing’s wrong... like they aren’t about to crack. Having a partner who makes you face your feelings is one worth keeping around.
2. We often lie to ourselves about what we really want.
We don't lie to ourselves about what we want our entire lives. When we’re younger, we feel very strongly about what we want out of life. Then we get a little older and what we want out of life evolves and matures.
Then, unfortunately, we often find we no longer allow ourselves to think about what we want because we're too busy trying to survive.
If having to fend for our safety or our success isn’t enough to stop us in our tracks, our universal laziness is.
Is it possible to always be our own motivation? Theoretically. But finding a partner who'll push us to pursue our dreams is the only partner worth having.
3. We often lie to ourselves about our mistakes.
If you’re living life right, you’re doing a whole lot of failing. And truth be told, no matter how much you understand failure is necessary and is part of the journey, it still sucks.
Even if the small failures don't get to you, the bigger ones eventually will. No matter how many successes we experience, we’re always looking for just one more.
Failing is part of the learning process, but the only way to learn is to admit it was our fault we failed. And the only way to do that is to accept we've made mistakes.
Unless you can do that, you’ll never learn. If you aren’t strong enough to admit it, then you better have someone who loves you enough to point out your mistakes for you.
4. We lie to ourselves about how our job is killing us.
At some point in your life, you’re going to have to work a job -- sometimes more than one -- you don’t enjoy doing. Sometimes you just need the money. Other times, you need to start at the bottom and work your way up.
Regardless of why you’re working a dead-end job, as long as you don’t stay working a dead-end job, you’ll be fine. What you don’t want to do is stay at a horrible job eating away at you for too long.
If you need to get out of there, but can’t risk quitting, work your ass off so you can make a seamless transition. A good partner will know when your career is killing you and will make you deal with the reality of it.
5. We often lie to ourselves about how our poor habits are ruining us.
The thing about bad habits is they’re really, really fun. They always seem worth the damage they cause -- until they don’t, but you aren’t able to realize it.
At least, not on your own. Sometimes it takes a third party with an objective eye to tell you when you’re ruining your life without even noticing.
Who better than the man or woman who loves you and wants nothing but the best for you?
6. We often lie about how much we don’t want to end up alone.
You can’t really blame us; it’s easy to forget how lonely being alone is when you’ve got company. Just the same, it’s easy to forget how much a person means to when you get too comfortable and forget you can lose him or her at any moment.
People often take what they have for granted. We get too caught up and too accustomed to how great our lives are, and manage to ruin them slowly.
Hopefully, the love of your life is in the habit of reminding you how much you need him or her in your life.
7. We often lie about how much we love the person we’re with.
Sometimes, it takes us a while to get around to admitting to ourselves we’re in love. Sometimes, we aren’t ready to be vulnerable again.
People fall for people, and people hurt people. Not everyone in our lives will hurt us, but it'll happen enough to keep ourselves guarded.
It’s understandable, but eventually we'll have to open up again. Luckily, it’s not something we need to force.
When the right person comes around, you’ll be forced to admit to yourself how much you love him or her because you won’t want to risk possibly losing him or her by doing otherwise.