Why The Age Of Social Media Has Made Breaking Up With Someone Impossible

by Ashley Fern

Social media: the place where everyone’s personal lives are revealed. This may seem like an amazing concept, but when you break it down, it can cause more harm than good. These days everyone is connected -- someone knows someone’s sister, who knows her best friend, who knows her camp friend who knows her co-worker.

After a break up, the last thing you want is to be reminded of you and your ex. However, the go-to post break up move is most definitely the de-friend and de-tag. While you wallow in self-pity, you are forced to confront these memories head on. Romantic vacation to Mexico? De-tag. Frat Formal? De-tag. Also you probably don’t want your future prospects going through your pictures to find you with your tongue down your partner’s throat.

“Because you can never go from going out to being friends, just like that. It's a lie. It's just something that people say they'll do to take the permanence out of a breakup. And someone always takes it to mean more than it does, and then is hurt even more when, inevitably, said ‘friendly' relationship is still a major step down from the previous relationship, and it's like breaking up all over again. But messier.”

As you attempt to get over your ex, you don’t want to have to see them pop up all over your newsfeed. This is why de-friending them is the go-to move. By doing this, you avoid any and all life updates they choose to bombard Facebook with. Over the course of your relationships, your two groups of friends most likely overlapped and, as a result, you are Facebook friends with them as well. Now you’re stuck seeing his friends upload pictures that he more than likely will also be in. There is literally NO ESCAPE.

If you were stupid enough to get into a public relationship on Facebook, just wait until the day you break up and that update displays all over your friends' newsfeeds. The most awkward part is that people can like and comment on this update. You finally realize that your partner’s friends and family didn’t actually like you when they all seem to support this split. Honestly, this is just a terrible idea to begin with and a mistake no one our age should be making.

“Isn't it funny how the memories you cherish before a breakup can become your worst enemies afterwards? The thoughts you loved to think about, the memories you wanted to hold up to the light and view from every angle -- it suddenly seems a lot safer to lock them in a box, far from the light of day and throw away the key. It's not an act of bitterness. It's an act if self-preservation. It's not always a bad idea to stay behind the window and look out at life instead, is it?”

Everyone is interconnected and whether you like it or not, reminders of your ex will pop up around every corner. Be careful not to fool yourself that you’re overyour ex just because you blocked him or her because he or she still exists in real life. You can only avoid this person for so long until he or she reappears on your Instagram feed.

The one behavior everyone is guilty of, don’t even try to argue this, is blocking your exes only to stalk the sh*t out of them via your friend's Facebook account. This way your exes have “no idea” you are actually still preoccupied with them. Why do you think a girl’s friends add her boyfriend in the first place? This is the sole reason.

“You can’t start the next chapter of you life if you keep re-reading the last one.”

Honestly, it is probably healthy to try and separate yourself as much as possible from an ex on Facebook. It only makes it harder to get over this person if you are constantly seeing everything that is going on in his or her life. When you see your ex out with other people, you will probably experience feelings of jealousy, which is just down right annoying.

Social media platforms just make it so much easier to get a pulse on their lives. Do you really care about what’s going on with your exes? Or are you just too hurt yourself? Seriously do yourself a favor and stop engaging in this type of behavior. There is no reason to linger on their profiles and track their every movement. They are your exes for a reason, so try and remember that.