My guy friends have been asking me for quite some time why women make them wait for a certain number of dates or a specific amount of time before they get intimate.
I wanted to answer the question honestly, so I enlisted the help of my amazing girlfriends to give me some insight into the matter. Now, I can give all the lovely men of the world some real answers.
So, here are the five reasons women make men wait, even if we want to sleep with you:
1. It's about timing and respect.
Every woman works off her own timetable. Whether we sleep with you on the second or the seventh date, we value and respect our bodies, and we want you to do the same.
But sadly, in a lot of situations, the odds are not in our favor when it comes to having sex on the first date. We can't help but think that if we want this to develop into something serious, we can't sleep with you right off the bat.
So, don't expect us to be super keen on the idea. Understand that most of us feel if we have sex too soon, you'll lose interest.
2. We prefer sex when there's a genuine connection.
Instinctively, most women crave deep connections, so we want to make sure we vibe with you before we decide to romp around and get freaky. If we're not sure how we feel about you or the situation, then we will most likely not feel 100 percent comfortable in bed, which is not good for you or us.
So, instead of jumping into it quickly, we wait to see if it's more than just pure attraction or lust that's fueling our intentions. That way, we can avoid a potential sexual encounter that could turn out to be a disaster.
3. We're trying to figure out your motives and how we feel.
Look, just because you take us out on dates and “wine and dine” us doesn't mean we trust you or know what you really want from the situation. For all we know, your sole intention could just be to get into our pants. Or maybe, you just want a person to eat with (kind of joking).
Food, material things and all that other fluff don't mean anything in the grand scheme of things. So, we put ourselves first, and that helps us figure out your intentions.
And when we do choose to sleep with you — whether it's “too soon” or not — we will personally be at a point we're comfortable with. We will be sure of our decisions, and we will be unfazed by what you think. We operate on more of an "if it feels right it feels right" scale.
4. We are giving you the chase you crave.
The Bloodhound Gang was definitely onto something when they released the song "The Bad Touch" because it's true that “You and me baby ain't nothin' but mammals." At the end of the day, we know we're all sexual creatures, and that's why we feel the need to give you the thrill of a competition and challenge.
If we take that away from you, we feel as if we're doing a disservice to nature and genetics as a whole. Plus, we find it super hot when the guy is willing to work for it and accepts the fact we love playing the game.
5. We play the numbers game.
We've grown up in a society where women are sadly judged by the number of sexual partners they've had. Given that this is the case, we're not really willing to put ourselves out there unless it's actually going to go somewhere.
Sure, we might want to sleep with you, and chances are, you're super attractive and desirable. But, we would much rather wait until we know you're not going to label us or treat us like some guys have in the past.
So, do we want to bone you? Yes, possibly. But, we probably won't sleep with you until we're sure it's something that has meaning or a little longevity to it.