Why You Should Never Date A Philosopher

by Paul Hudson

Philosophers can be very difficult people. They are picky and like things a particular way. They are egocentric and often a bit brutal. However, they can make for good partners, only when they are ready for it.

There are a lot of reasons to fall for a philosopher, but you should know what you are getting yourself into.

If this philosopher is honest, then he or she is likely to warn you that if you are getting into a relationship, it’s likely to be a bit of a rollercoaster:

1. We think we’re very smart and can be very stubborn.

We often think that we are smarter than we actually are; we are definitely ones to argue and will try to convince you that we are right, even if we aren’t. It’s difficult for us to swallow our pride, so instead, we argue our case until you can prove us wrong. We are almost never the ones to admit we are wrong. However, because we are logicians, we can’t argue against solid rationale. Just don’t expect us to make the argument for you.

2. We can love very deeply, but rarely allow ourselves to.

Maybe it’s all the novels we had to read in college or all the papers we wrote on theories of love, but the majority of us do believe in love. We may not believe in the idea of soul mates, but we know that loving deeply is possibly. We don’t fall in love often, either, but when we do, we go all in. The problem is trusting a person and liking him or her enough to open up.

Allowing yourself to love is basically agreeing to take on a new part of you. It’s the fusion of the lives of two human beings. Love affects us, our thinking and our decisions more than anything else on this planet. There is literally nothing more powerful or frightening than falling deeply in love. We aren’t always the bravest bunch.

3. Since we question everything, we will inevitably question whether or not we love you.

Call us idiots, but it is what it is. When you learn to question the little things in life, you will certainly question the biggest things. We don’t like second-guessing ourselves, but matters of the heart are very important to us; we would hate to think we are making a mistake. Hopefully we come to understand that questioning love is a good thing; it keeps everyone on their toes.

Relationships require effort from both sides to keep passion alive. If there is passion, we don’t question the relationship; we feel excited, so we have no time to question it. It’s when things start getting comfortable and we start hoping for challenges. We don’t like things that come easily; we like to work for things. We like the game. If we understand this, and the person we are with understands this and feels the same way, then it is possible to lock us down.

4. Our heads are our playground, and we may spend more time in there alone than some may find acceptable.

We are thinkers; some of us are talkers, but not all -- unless you get a few drinks in us, of course. In all seriousness, though, we enjoy staying in our own heads a lot of the time.

If you’re high maintenance and on the needy side, you won’t get the attention from us that you need. When we do give you attention, however, it’s likely to be undivided. If we love you, we’ll do our best to stay with you in the moment whenever together, but if we happen to drift off, give us a little pinch and we’ll float back down to reality.

5. We’re lone wolves by nature and sometimes still think we’d be better off alone.

This is the biggest issue. We’re not 100 percent convinced that we need someone to share our lives with. We like the company when we want the company, but we like being alone a lot of the time, as well. It may seem as if we are pushing you away at the time, but we’re not; we’re pulling ourselves away to get the space tat we need in order to be the people we want to be.

Unfortunately, this is not something that can or should change. You have to accept this part of us because it’s a part that’s here to stay. This gets difficult when our lovers need us in conjunction with us needing some space. All you can do then is to hope that we’re mature enough to inconvenience ourselves for your benefit.