Why Women Might Be Responsible For The Creation Of The Hook-Up Culture


It seems that every day I read a new article about a new progression in the dating landscape.

Recently, I have noticed that women are upset about the current trends of hooking up. Many women believe that this "hook-up culture" has made dating impossible because guys only want to hook up.

Some women feel that the current state is dehumanizing for women. These are bold statements. The level of defeat that women appear to have seems immeasurable.

I find it hard to sympathize. Why? Because in my estimation, women created the "hook-up culture."

One of the major tenets of the feminist movement I've heard is that women should be allowed to explore and experiment sexually as much as they want.

I say, go for it! I've heard the classic tropes like, "Why is it when a girl wants to sleep with a lot of guys, she is a slut, but when a guy sleeps with a lot of girls, he's a player?" True enough.

The anti-slut-shaming movement is ever-present in major journalism outlets, with people standing up for women who are willing to explore their sexuality. This is good and I couldn’t be more supportive.

Yet, now that more and more women seem to be open with their sexuality, there are quite a few women who are upset. From what I've read, hook-up culture has done nothing but have negative consequences for women.

Women can't find guys who want to take them on dates, they can't get text messages from guys before 2 am and they definitely can't have “normal” relationships.

Now, I know that there are guys out there who are animals. I've written about said guys before and their shameful mistreatment of women should be frowned upon. It is my personal belief that people should treat others how they want to be treated.

However, am I the only one who realizes an important part of this culture? You know, that women are the gatekeepers of sex?!

In most cases, guys have VERY limited control over whether or not sex is on the agenda. Typically, I feel like guys are on their knees begging for sex, completely and utterly powerless against the woman’s word.

When women came to realize that casual sex can be fun, they started to delve more and more into the hook-up world and became more willing to experiment.

I don't think anyone should judge these women; they are free to do what they please.

Their bodies are their own. They are allowed to do with them what they wish, and they finally realized there is nothing to be ashamed of by going out into the world to hook up more often.

So, why all of a sudden are women upset about this notion of a "hook-up culture?" When women made the movement to explore their sexuality, I must guess that it excited a lot of guys out there.

So why, now, are people vilifying the guys who choose to partake in the freedom women have to explore their bodies?

Historically speaking, men are more sexual in nature, and with women finally catching up to the sexual nature of men, all of a sudden men are being blamed for the apparent "hook-up culture."

Men wanted sexual freedom, women hopped on board, and they finally had each other to experiment with.

I understand that it is probably harder than ever to find a true romantic relationship nowadays. With technology making it easier and easier to find someone to casually hook up with, and more and more people wanting to just hook up, I can understand that it's hard to find a guy who wants to go on a date and who is satisfied with just that.

It's hard to point a finger and find a specific reason for why we now live in this "hook-up culture." Yet, from my perspective, a guy's perspective, I'll choose to point my finger in the direction of women.

Now, I'm not pointing a shaming finger, nor am I complaining about the evolution of our dating culture.

What I am saying is, I'm tired of being vilified for taking part in a culture that required both genders to make the change. Ladies, you made this bed, so lay in it... or hook up in it.

Photo via We Heart It