Why Relationships Make You Suck

by Ashley Fern

We have all had that friend who starts to suck once they get into a relationship. They no longer are the same person they used to be when they were single. All you’re left with is a distant memory of this awesome person you used to hang out with. Unfortunately, many people, both male and female, tend to get so wrapped up in relationships that they lose sight of who they truly are.

People get into relationships for all the wrong reasons everyday and this could be why so many personalities change. For some reason it is looked down upon to be single, so people jump into the first relationship they can get their hands on. Keeping your identity is a difficult task when you are constantly around another person who is so influential in your life. They are there by your side while you make decisions and it becomes difficult to ignore their input.

In my experience, I believe there is a correlation between getting into a relationship and becoming a sh*tty friend -- for the majority of people. Someone else is now occupying the free time you would spend with your friend. The worst part is that you can’t even join in because who wants to third wheel a relationship? When people get so immersed in a relationship, they neglect their friends and their own interests; they run the risk of losing what made them so desirable to their partner in the first place.

This is how people become damaged goods. They completely invest themselves in their relationship and ignore everything else in the outside world. They put every effort possible into this relationship, but when it has run its course, these people are left to suffer alone. They have alienated their friends and ignored what was previously important to them.

You need a support system after a breakup. Since these people have ignored their friends and the life they had before their significant other, they are left to navigate these troublesome waters solo. You can’t expect your friends to stick around after you have neglected them for so long.

There are ways to have a fulfilling relationship while still maintaining the friendships you had before. For some reason, it is too common that people are not aware of this. It is all too easy to forget about your previous oh so present social life, but you need to actively make sure you are still doing things for yourself.

Have certain nights where you just go out with your friends, this is healthy for both people involved. Give each other room to breathe, this will only allow for a deeper appreciation of one another.

Make sure you still are pursuing hobbies that interest you. It is crucial to always maintain your independence because if things do not work out, you only have yourself to fall back on. An unhealthy relationship is one that makes you compromise your own identity.

Being in a relationship is not about changing who you are to coincide with your partner. It is about finding someone who encourages you to be the best person you can be, while supporting you along the way. They should not try to change your personality and mold it into something different. This person fell for you for a reason, do not let that reason slip away. Never sacrifice your identity for your relationship; you need to come first in your life. A relationship is just a cherry on the cake.

The greatest benefits of engaging in a relationship are sharing your interests with someone while learning new things. It should never take away from your character, but help to build it! Be yourself and expect and demand your partner to love you for who you are.