Relationships

Why Millennials Feel The Pressure To Be Married By 30

by John Picciuto

I'm 27 years old and, in the next year, will be in four weddings, two of which I'll be the best man. What this really has me wondering is why everyone aged from 21 to 30 years old is finding this age bracket as the ideal and necessary time to stroll down the aisle.

So listen, before I go into this anti-marriage-at-a-young-age-based rant, I'd like to clarify one thing: I am a firm and true believer of soul mates, true love, all that stuff.

So when you think I'm just some bitter single guy, you're wrong. I happen to think that of the weddings I'm in this coming year, all of these people have been lucky enough to find the person to complete them.

And for that, I will admit to being incredibly jealous because, at the end of the day, it's nice to have someone to share your life with. That being said, I’ll get back to my point.

Can someone please stand up and explain to me the rush Millennials to get married before 30? When did this trend become a thing? Who decided that we had to time warp ourselves back to the 1940s and 50s to a generation when getting married straight out of high school and college was the norm?

Don't get me wrong; if you're lucky enough to have found the person you think is the one, by all means, please marry him or her. However, with divorce rates hovering in excess of 50%, do you think maybe this sudden rush down the aisle is a general factor contributing to that rate?

Perhaps I've found myself in the minority of our generation, and that’s something I'm perfectly fine with. Thirty years old to me does not mean this is the end-all be-all age of which I have to be married by.

I'm pretty positive, should I not be married in the next three years, my life will continue to be just fine. So, with all the fuss about 30 being the "ideal" age to be married by, where on earth did we come up with this number?

I think the main factor we can point our fingers to is Hollywood. Unfortunately, a vast array of TV shows and movies personify 30 as this age of which there is no turning back. Heaven forbid Ross or Rachel hooked up after 30 they would be doomed to impotence and a life alone.

It's this unfair objectification of the number 30 in media, which has trickled its way down to us as a number that is to be feared instead of embraced.

Thirty isn't what it used to be. With rapid advancements in medicine and fertility drugs, people are not only living longer, but it's also no longer unheard of for people to have children well into their 40s.

When you think about that for a second, it makes you realize that maybe 30 is the new 20. Now, when I was 20, you would have never heard me say that, but as I creep ever closer to 30, I realize that I am in absolutely no rush whatsoever to be tied down or married.

There's an important distinction that needs to be made here. If you've been with someone for a long time and the years have warranted you taking the next step in your relationship to get engaged and married, by all means, do so. But, if you're inexplicably coerced to see turning 30 as a point at which you need to be married, you've sadly been impacted far too much by what you watch on TV.

Thirty isn't a number to fret over, and as I get closer to that age, I realize how much my life has improved over my 20s. I now have the ability to live out the dreams I had when I was only 20, and whether I do that single or in a relationship, it doesn't matter.

Gen-Y does not need to focus its gaze on 30 as that point at which we need to be married by. Thirty is a number and a time at which you still have probably two-thirds of your life to live.

Take the time to seek out a partner for the rest of your life. Don’t rush. There’s no reason to be phased by your age, and your birthday each year should not be met with dread if you’re single. I'm pushing 30 and by no means worried about things to come.

Top Photo Courtesy: CW/Gossip Girl