What Do Men Really Want?

by John Picciuto

Where the hell is the female equivalent of Mel Gibson when I'm asked this question? I want a woman to be able to read my mind and hear what I'm thinking, so she can convince me that she's my soul mate and everything I've been waiting for, someone to completely take my brain out of the equation. But in actuality, a man’s brains screw every single thing up.

What do men want? If that's not the million-dollar question for women, I don't know what is. Men are just about as fickle as they come when it comes to what we want in a woman. On a daily basis, my mind alternates between wanting a relationship, a fuck buddy, a one-night stand, or nothing at all. The real problem is that a man's brain is constantly changing. There is never a day when we think or feel the same thing as the last, and that's a fact. For women, that fact could make you quite crazy, and it's safe to say it has.

The simple truth is that men are extraordinarily difficult to understand. Some men just want sex. And that's fine. I've fallen into this category for the majority of my life. What is better than some rough, down to have fun, good old-fashioned sex, with no strings attached? Especially when you don't have to worry about what this person is going to think the next day. This kind of guy is good for one thing, and it's not someone to bring to Sunday brunch. It's a casual fling, with little to no thought put into it and ZERO feelings.

There is another kind of man, and he's definitely different. Some men want a companion, a relationship. I've always found that there's women out there that basically go from relationship to relationship and never spend a single moment of their lives single and figuring out exactly who they are and what they want. There are also men like this. Some men just want the ability to come home to someone who cares about them, have their boring missionary sex and be done with it.

The trick here, I think, that women are missing but need to learn is to not try to change a guy from one mindset to another. If I am just looking to get laid, and I tell you I just want to f*ck, convincing me that a relationship with you will be worthwhile is going to be a waste of your time. You're never going to change a guy like that. Odds are, you're not the one he's looking for, and even if you were, he's not going to realize it until much too late. You're never going to alter our brains. We're stuck in our ways and pig headed to the point where, unless you're an absolute dime who loves football and beer, we're probably not going to notice that you're right for us until you're leaving. I wonder why that is.

I've had to ask myself repeatedly what it is about me, or men in general, that makes us so easily swayed. Why, for no apparent reason, we automatically assume that the grass is always greener on the other side. I wish I could tell you word for word what men want, what it is we're looking for, and what is important to us. But the truth is that no guy is the same. Take your standard tits versus ass guy. Do we ever agree? No. I think there really are no right or wrong answers in regards to what a man wants. I can say that when you do find the right person, it works. It shouldn't be a constant struggle; you shouldn't have to work hard every single day to make something work. Relationships obviously require effort, but when you find the right person, it should just click.

Look ladies, the fact of the matter is that you have 99 percent of the power when it comes to men, and you need to start realizing this. You hold all the cards, and you open all the doors. The fact is if you don't give me your number, you're never going to find out whether I just want to bang, or I'm looking for the love of my life. I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but when things go wrong in relationships, it usually can be directly attributed to the woman not looking at the signs that are clearly presented regarding what type of guy he is. Women need to realize that they own men. Period - end of story. Take the power you have over us, and use it to your advantage.

Find the guy who's looking for what you want and things will work out. Try turning the one-night stand guy from last Halloween into your boyfriend, and well, things aren't likely to work out.

I can tell you nothing about what men want. I can, however, tell you a little bit about what I want. I've spent the majority of my life single and loving it. I've had incredible nights with incredible women, and at this point of my life, the rat race of the dating game just isn't what it's cracked up to be anymore. Fact is, I'm sick of the dumb bullsh*t and the drama. I want someone I can chill with. I want someone I can go out binge drinking with and at the same time, stay in and watch a movie with. Even more importantly, I want someone who's sexy but also reserved. As Ludacris said, I'm looking for a “lady in the street, but a freak in the bed,” and basically every guy is.

That much is true. What I'm sick of is a confused girl who is going to screw around behind my back, or not know what she wants. I am completely done with the games. I'm done with wasting my time. I am definitely not ready, nor am I looking for a relationship, but the signs are pointing to me being over the casual one-night stands. And to be fair, what's so wrong with that, anyway?