The War On Love: Using Sex As The Weapon


Seeing these sad, suicidal and straight out pathetic articles that “men suck” and that they belong to a generation that “never wants to commit” makes women like me explode with laughter in unison. We can’t help feeling deeply annoyed about how women generally depict themselves as “victims.” So what, some men refuse to commit? Good for them.

Some of us have actually understood that a guy who aspires to be Chuck Bass won’t shower every girl he meets with flowers and promises of monogamy. Girls, if guys play a dirty game - you need to play by the same rules. This is something you learn with age, maturity and sadly - with experience. Love is war, and unless you’re equipped well for battle, you should avoid facing the opponent.

What many women fail to realize is that they have a power, a sort of sexual asset that men will constantly want. In order to have a chance of winning in this war of commitment, a girl needs to utilize the weapon provided her: Sex.

1. Know your enemy’s intentions Men like to conquer: Napoleon conquered Europe and then turned his eyes on the U.K, but was lured in and beaten down at Waterloo, where he met his superior. Your man will want to conquer you too.

When you know what your opponent wants, you know what to bargain with. Every man’s intention when he sees a hot girl is to sleep with her; that’s hardly any news. As a man wants sex, it’s only fair to use it as bait. But don’t be another conquest. Be Waterloo.

2. Choose your battles wisely Many assume that only girls are superficial, which is a great mistake. Guys are also vain and care deeply about their image, especially in front of their “boys”. If you want to fight a war with him, you need to do so as an equal. Winston Churchill asked: Do I have equally as many tanks as Hitler to measure up to him?

You need to ask: Do my personal assets match his? Can I play in his league? This sounds cruel, but even relationship coaches state that your partner needs to be on an equal social level if you want things to work out. Don’t go for the Ferrari, if you can’t afford the gas.

3. Don’t go to war - unless you can win Don’t sleep with a guy unless you can be the best he’s ever had. This requires a natural talent, but also practice and a passion for what you do. Read “50 Shades of Grey”; study Youtube tutorials; interview your most “slutty” girlfriends and take notes. Work on improving your bedroom skills. Most girls think that a guy will leave her after he has slept with her. And this is true in the majority of cases.

Except for one: in the case where you made sure your input in bed is something mind-blowing and above normal, which will leave him begging for more. Basically, if you can deliver a superior product, he won’t change the supplier. This is the point where you’ve changed the power struggle to a game that benefits you. All of a sudden, you have something he wants badly. You’re sitting with all the chips. You’ve given him a taste, which is enough for now. Give a wolf a bite, then keep him hungry.

4. Mind fuck your enemy Pretend like commitment is the last thing on your mind. Actually, tell him straight out in a patronizing way : Sweetie, this was fun but we really can’t see each other anymore. This should come after your sex-act, when he’s still in shock from your amazing sexual skills, and thus extra vulnerable. Your attitude will confuse him: Isn’t that his line?

Reverse psychology will kick in, and for once, a girl is taking him for a ride. Guys like to be the closers. He’s going to pursue you in order to be the one pulling the plug. Why? Because he’s a man; and for some funny reason, men always feel like they have to be the ones making the decisions. Use his weaknesses to your advantage.

5. Stay off the radar If you’ve coordinated your troops right, he will try to touch base with you. Be hard to get a hold of. During Second World War, the U.S Marines submerge under the surface with their submarines, making them completely invisible to the German ships. Don’t disclose your location or be too available, as this makes you an easy target.

Put hot pictures on Facebook, but never end up in the same place as him. The sight of you will trigger him, and therefore your absence will be even more frustrating. He will be wondering what better things you are up to. Greater things are believed of those who are absent.

6. Overpower the adversary After a lot of nagging from his side, you’ve agreed to see him again. He’s hoping for a second night of passion to get it out of his system. The fact that you have proved reluctant to meet up will lead him to think you didn’t enjoy his achievement in bed. He’ll crave a second chance. Keep him hoping. Be your most wonderful self but refuse to sleep with him.

His ego will be hurt, and he will be disarmed but he will still pursue. Why? Because this time he knows what he’s missing. And that is the real torture. A soldier will fight long and hard for a bit of colored ribbon.

7. Call back the troops and negotiate with the enemy Truth is, there is no magical way to make a guy fall in love with you. Just because he’s chasing you doesn’t mean that he actually will develop feelings for you. You have to ask yourself about his behavior; isn’t his persistence a bit pathetic? Isn’t it much sexier with a man who knows his value, and doesn’t chase a girl without any sense of self respect?

Spell it out for him that you despise “play boys” and only deal with real men. Give him an ultimatum: to treat you with respect and with serious intentions, or get the hell out of your face. That’s a take it or leave it-deal, and this time you have something to bargain with: amazing sex from a sharp, beautiful woman on his level.

There’s a big risk that he will leave the table and ride off. But then at least you’re left with your pride intact. It’s simply going to be his loss when he’s celebrating Christmas at the local bar by himself. However, chances are also that he earned a certain respect for you, realized that girls with your traits don’t come along that often and that he’s intrigued by you. May the Force be with you.

Anna Madsen | Elite. For more from Anna Madsen, visit