Two Lessons To Take Away From The Pain And Danger Of Leading Someone On

by Brenna Kowall

There’s nothing better than the feeling of falling for someone.

At some point, you decided to let a man or woman into your life with the excitement of the relationship growing every day.

You’re constantly smiling, always happy, because you’re always thinking about the person, what he or she is doing and when you’ll see him or her next. Every text, call or date with this person sends you over the moon. It’s a feeling of pure joy and it’s unlike any other.

Have you ever felt like this? I remember when I first did. I don’t typically easily fall hard for anyone. However, I was convinced that this person liked me, too, so I let down my guard with him.

We would talk about future visits and life after college. It was nothing serious, but just enough to make me fall -- not fall in love with him, but fall in love with the idea of him the idea of us.

I spent the night with him one evening and we were lying in bed, just talking about school, work and life. It felt peaceful; it felt safe; it felt right. I found the perfect moment (and some confidence from my friend Jack Daniels) to say,

“When I told you I liked you I meant that. I think we should take this further and see where it can go.”

My confession was followed up with pure silence. I felt every ounce of happiness and confidence leave my body as each second passed left unspoken. Finally he muttered,

“Uhh I’m just not really into labels. Sorry.”

Just like that, just those few insensitive, heartbreaking words were all I got. What just happened? How did this just happen? Was this the same I guy I've been falling for all these years?

I realized I had been completely led on. Those feelings, those moments, those conversations — they were all for nothing. I left humiliated and broken.

How do we fall in these traps? Why do people play these games? What is wrong with our generation? Is there any integrity and honesty left in love?

There are only two simple, yet very important lessons to take away from this:

Lesson 1: Don’t be that person.

Ladies, this goes for you, too. Anyone can easily fall down the path of leading someone on. It’s an evil, dangerous game.

Not every single person will be right for you, but for God’s sake, please have the decency and the courage to tell the person that it won’t work out.

Lesson 2: Don't be afraid.

If finding someone who loves you is important, then be honest in your relationships, and more importantly, be honest with yourself. Don’t be afraid of commitment. Don’t overthink statuses or labels.

Fight for what you want despite what your friends, family or that dumb voice in your head tells you.

Finding the person who you love isn't as difficult as it sounds. It’s actually very simple: Be kind with the hearts of others. Life is too short to be playing games with each other.

As for everything else in dating, well, I guess all is fair in love and war.

(Update: I've moved on from the person mentioned here and I only hope for the best for him. He still is one of my best memories from college and I know good things will happen to him. Maybe we weren't meant for each other and that’s okay. It all works out in the end.)

Photo via We Heart It