No matter how often someone describes a positive "friends with benefits" situation to me, I am constantly plagued with the question, "What are the real benefits here?"
I'm serious. I'm not about to designate mediocre sex and subsequently catching every single feeling ever as a benefit. It's too complicated. It's too risky. This set up should be called "friends who have sex semi-regularly until one or both of them starts wishing it were something more and they're sent down a depressing spiral that shatters their self-esteem."
I'm not bitter, I promise.
All I'm saying is, a random hookup where I have no previous emotional connection to a person, and will not develop one after we do ~the sex~, sounds infinitely less complicated than ruining a friendship and my self-esteem.
Plus, there are so many better benefits that a FWB situation could have, as pointed out by SEVERAL Twitter users.
Here are 22 tweets about friends with benefits that'll make you laugh, cry, wonder why you do this to yourself, and maybe join a convent:
Don't make me laugh with puns right now. I'm distressed over friends with benefits as a whole.
Forget weird sex. GIVE ME THE DOGGOS.
OK, but does that come with paid vacation?
Let's just skip the messy part (sex) and just be normal friends who do things and care about each other.
This woman literally just summed up what every woman feels about "friends with benefits" in this tweet thread:
Cue *NSYNC's "No Strings Attached."
Swimming > sex.
Friends with benefits might literally drive me insane, but these A+ puns won't.
Literally don't even have sex with me, just point me to your fridge.
The benefit in this situation is that I fix your sh*tty taste in movies.
Too real, you guys. Anyone who knows how to stop yourself from catching feels, hit a girl up.
I am a blessing and a true delight, thank you.
We can only be FWB if you're down to nap.
How is friends with benefits an effective scenario?
Why is this kind of friend with benefits so hard to find?
Who's the real winner here?
This person is the only one asking the real questions.
You guys, let's seriously rethink the whole "benefits" thing to the friends with benefits situation. Because the benefits these people mention seem a lot better than consistently having a d*ck in my face.
Ugh, a girl can dream, right?