What 'I'm Not That Kind of Girl' Actually Means

by Sebastian Scholl

This article may get me slapped, but whatever. Starting my later high school years to this afternoon, I’ve had countless girls say to me “I’m not that kind of girl,” or “I’m a good girl.”  Of course, they always informed me of this fun fact when I was either bringing them home, had them home, or sometimes even while we were in the process of hooking up.

When I was younger, I believed the girls that would say this. And I would usually move on my merry way after hearing it, assuming I wasn’t going to crack that nut. However, with age comes wisdom.

Comically, the responses “don’t worry, I’m not that kind of guy,” “you didn’t seem like every other girl,” or simply ignoring them will work most of the time to make them forget that they’re “not like that.” But even better, I’ve just come to learn that if a girl ever tells me that she’s a good one, there’s a 99 percent chance that we’re about to hook up…or she’s crazy. When girls mutter these few words, the truth is, they only say this to convince themselves, not me, that they’re “good.”

Plus, whenever you feel obligated to tell someone that you’re “good,” it’s usually because you’re being “bad” – think about it.  It’s like how people always (myself included) will tell you that they don’t really eat dessert just before ordering the fudge sundae special. The girls I know who I consider “good” and actually don’t have random hook ups have never assured me, or anyone for that matter, of their so-called purity, simply because they never find themselves in situations where they need to confirm it.

Telling me that you’re a “good girl” while lying on my couch half-naked at 3:00AM after meeting me that night at a sports bar is like telling me you’re a vegetarian after ordering a prime rib. All I can do is nod and say “well isn’t that interesting!” The same goes for guys (myself included) who try to think of themselves as good guys.

I constantly catch myself thinking, “You know what, Sebastian? You’re really over this whole hook up thing and just want to find a girl who’s serious.” Meanwhile, I’m running from bar to bar buying tequila shots for whoever is wearing the shortest skirt.

At the end of the day, who cares? But if you are one of those people who is human, there’s a good chance that your self-image is pretty damn distant from your actions. So the next time you try telling someone about what kind of person you are, think about whether you are trying to convince that person of it, or yourself.

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