Relationships

The Types Of Guys You Shouldn’t Be Dating

by Ashley Fern

There may be a million fish in the sea, but none of them are catches -- and ain’t nobody got time for that. Throughout the course of your life, you will date and experience different types of “men.” Not all of these “men” are boyfriend material. In fact, basically none are boyfriend material, but they sure are fun to pass the time with.

Check out the list below of the types of guys you should most definitely not be in a full-fledged relationship with.

Frat Guys

These guys will love you until the next incoming freshman pledge class enters the scene. Congrats, you’re now washed up and alone. As you try and eat your feelings after that breakup, you can see how far that meal plan really goes. There is no doubt these boys will break your heart one week and try and pursue your best friend the next, in front of your face.

Guys Who Take Longer To Get Ready Than You Do

If a guy takes longer doing his hair or picking out an outfit than you, well my friend, you have a problem on your hands. This is a huge turn off for many reasons. He is that insecure with himself that he takes over an hour in the bathroom. Not normal. Chances are if he isn’t even comfortable with the way he looks, he probably isn’t going to be that great in the sack.

Guys In Relationships With Themselves

Narcissism is perhaps one of the most repulsive traits a person can possess. If a guy never puts your needs before his own, how can you ever except to have a functional, serious relationship? These guys don’t give a sh*t about their partners and only see them as another accessory.

Guys With Clingy Exes

Ain’t nobody got time for that sh*t. This is guaranteed drama. Not only are you going to have drama with the ex, you will always have issues with your ex's ex and all of her friends. No guy is worth that sh*t. Chances are he’s damaged because honestly who can’t even be civil with a person they shared so much time with?

The Guy Who Cheated To Hook Up With You

If he will cheat on a girlfriend he supposedly “loves,” what do you think he’s going to do with you? Obviously, he just keeps girls around until he finds the next best thing. Why would you even think that you would be the one to change him? Even if you believe in his faithfulness, you will always be left to wonder, would he do this to me?

Athletes

These guys have girls throwing themselves at them at any given moment. They thrive on the attention and will introduce themselves by their number rather than their name. Be careful of these cocky guys because once your support starts to dwindle, they will kick you to the curb.

Your Best Friend

Listen ladies, do not f*ck this one up. Don’t make the mistake of thinking, “oh we're different.” NO ONE IS DIFFERENT. There is no exception to this rule no matter how much faith you have in it working. It doesn’t matter how great the sex or conversation is, at the end, this will blow up in your face. Always. Without fail.

The Guy Who Comes Between You And Your BFF

Hoes over bros or as my favorite television character once stated, "clothes over bros." There is never going to be anyone worth anything that could come between you and your best friend. This is the girl you have navigated life with by your side, the girl you would never put on the backburner for any guy. A guy should be aware that when push comes to shove, a girl will always choose her best friend.

Younger Guys

The only thing on these guys' minds is that they’re f*cking older women. They aren’t mature enough to handle the seriousness attached to a real relationship. Also they are probably lacking in experience since they can’t offer the same things as an older man can.

Co-workers

No matter how great you think your office romance may be...you’re at work. These relationships are inherently filled with disaster. Office romances may interfere with a person’s ability to perform their daily work tasks. What happens when the relationship fizzles out? How do you keep the feelings and tension out of the office at this point? It is virtually impossible to have a relationship with a co-worker that doesn’t corrode the work environment.

Investment Banker

This man is in a relationship with one thing and one thing only: his career. Don’t expect him to ever make it home in time for dinner as his hours are literally around the clock. Faithful? Please, he’s probably f*cking the new hire or secretary in an elevator. Good luck trying to make that relationship last.

Musician

John Mayer: no further explanation needed. These boys tend to have way too many emotions and are damaged goods. I mean, just take a look at their lyrics. Let's be real now -- dating a musician sounds great in theory, but honestly he will just break your heart…and then write a song about it.

Your Ex

Fallbacks are never a good idea. There’s a reason this relationship didn’t work out and that reason didn’t go away even though you may be unable to find someone better. You will never find the right one until you let go of the wrong one. You may have invested time and effort into them, but no matter how appealing this concept may appear, always remember they are your ex for a reason.

In conclusion, you’re sh*t out of luck. Where the F are the men at these days?

Photo Courtesy: Tumblr