We all know that a friends with benefits (FWB) relationship is one of the most fruitful experiences of your twenties, straight up sex with no boundaries and feelings. What!?…Can it get any better than this? It's the perfect set up to get you through your everyday life, especially the rigor of the real world at such a young age.
We have just started our careers and we really don't need the stress of dealing with a relationship in addition to all the other stressful things we experience in our everyday lives. Relationships are truly taxing experiences and require a lot of work that at times is unnecessary. There is no need for you to put yourself through this misery at such an early stage in your life.
Consistent emotionless sex is all you really need to get by. Although there are no particular time limits for such a relationship, there are certain signs that you may want to make you reevaluate your FWB relationship. Here are the signs your FWB relationship may be getting a little too intimate:
They start leaving things at your house other than the occasional underwear or pair of socks.
There are no favors in this type of relationship (aside from the orgasms you guys give each other). Once the deed is done, it's back to your normal schedule, you owe them no more favors. There is no such thing as allowing them to keep their toothbrush there or giving them a special section in your closet. This is some sh*t reserved only for relationships, get yourself together and understand what is really going on here.
You start feeling shy about showing your friends naked pictures of your FWB partner.
There's nothing like getting those naked pics to help you through your day. These are common among FWB partners and your partner has a pretty good idea that you're going to want to show your friends, otherwise he or she would Snapchat. However, when you don't want other people to see your FWB naked, you might have a problem.
For some reason, you suddenly stop seeing other people.
The best quality of such a relationship is the freedom to see other people while still having someone as a back up on a consistent basis. However, once you stop seeing other people and only pay attention to your FWB, then you are in trouble.
This is dangerous territory as your FWB can become your BF/GF. Sit back, take a chill pill and reevaluate the situation. You must never let yourself get to comfortable. Just stick within the FWB guidelines.
You see your FWB partner more than 2 times a week.
There is a maximum of two sex sessions that you are entitled to per week. This is to ensure that each of you has your own space and time to do other things...or people. The point of this is to make sure you guys are not spending too much time together and it will give each of you time to go around fishing elsewhere.
You don't want to eat chicken every day, so why would you want to have sex with the same person consistently? You know each of you has each other as a consistent back up, so there is no reason for you not to go out there and attempt to gather more potential partners.
There are after-sex activities other than one of you putting on your clothes and then leaving.
Nothing is no more of an obvious sign that you are crossing the line in a FWB relationship than cuddling after sex. This is a big no-no and you must know that you can't do this in an FWB relationship. You're supposed to get yours and they're supposed to get theirs, nothing more nothing less. Once you start including cuddling, then it's time for you to realize that you are taking things a bit too far.
You are only supposed to exist in your partner's fantasies and bedroom, there's no need to meet the family.
Under no circumstance should your FWB partner meet your family. He or she is only here to have sex. There is absolutely no reason for an FWB to meet your family; they aren't supposed to even exist to those people closest to you.
Meeting family is too much of a personal experience and it's not like you're aiming to be in your partner's inner circle. Meeting family is a bit much, especially when you're not going to be together much longer.
You cancel plans with friends in order to hang out with your FWB.
There are certain nights planned for your FWB partner and there are others that you dedicate to your friends and other obligations. There is no way you should ever cancel these scheduled plans with your friends just to spend time with your FWB.
A line needs to be drawn and each of you must understand that your social life with each other should be at a bare minimum. No need to start canceling on your obligations with your friends just to get your nut off, it makes you look thirsty and it's not necessary in a FWB relationship.
You develop the habit of claiming that you're taken when someone tries to hit on you.
Uhhh Oohhh! Did you just say the two dreaded words while thinking of your FWB partner, "I'm taken"? Being that you are in a full on FWB relationship, you have all the best perks of being in a relationship without the emotional baggage.
When people are flirting with you, there is no reason why you should ever hesitate to flirt back. At times you may not be interested in the particular person hitting on you, but you should never claim to be "taken." Your FWB is not a real relationship and claiming that you're taken is definitely crossing this line.
You feel jealous when you see your FWB with someone else.
One of the unwritten rules of an FWB relationship is that you are to abstain from catching feelings, as you solely use this to fulfill your physical needs. You guys understand that each individual is allowed to sleep with different people, but once you start feeling jealous, then fasten your seat belt. Nothing good can come out of this, as it is a sign that you are becoming too attached. At this point, you must abort mission and find yourself someone else to fool around with.
When seen together, there is hesitation when someone asks if you're together.
The question "Are you guys together?" should never be answered with hesitation; the answer is always "NO." The moment you hesitate to answer this question shows that you are developing some feelings and don't know if your FWB relationship is developing into something more.
That weird pause that follows this question while you look in your partner's eyes is one of the most feared things of a FWB relationship. If you find yourself getting to this point, then you're in trouble. At this point, you are almost close to the point of no return, so it's either you end this before it goes too far or enter into a full blown relationship.
Bonus: You willingly go to buy her tampons.
This is purgatory for a FWB relationship. First of all, you were hesitant to buy your ex-girlfriend's tampons when you were together, what makes you think this FWB relation has you obligated to buy her tampons?
She should know how to take care of herself, and you should never be seeing your FWB when she is on her period, anyway. If you're not having sex, then there is no reason for you guys to be seeing each other, who the f*ck hangs out with their FWB for fun?
Top photo credit: Sony