How To Make Sure Your Relationship Survives The Technological Revolution
Technology is great for phones, computers and tablets, but when it comes to relationships, we should just start calling it “wrecknology.”
This isn’t specifically about eHarmony, Tinder or ChristianMingle, but rather about how social media can drive normal people to become psychotic boyfriends and girlfriends. From Facebook, to Twitter, to Instagram, to texting -- technology is permeating ever corner of our lives. Here’s what I mean:
Facebook is great for catching up with old friends, meeting new ones and, oh yeah... stalking your partner’s activity.
Some people use Facebook like an online diary, others don’t even have profiles and the rest use the site with appropriate regularity. Given these established categories, here are the hypothetical situations Facebook can spark in a relationship:
If one person in the relationship is more Facebook active than another, certain concerns grow to be more significant than necessary. One person may become stressed about why the relationship hasn’t become Facebook official while the other person hasn’t even thought about it.
If both people are active on Facebook, everything is visible — probably too visible. He’ll see that she "liked" her ex’s new photo and will be furious. Does it mean something? Is she cheating? This scenario leads to all kinds of negative ramifications.
The bottom line: Facebook presents so many opportunities for miscommunication and potential fights. Everyone uses the site differently and places a different sense of importance on it. Even if you’re earnestly angry or frustrated about why he won’t post your relationship status, why she didn’t "like" your comment or why he won’t post a photo of you two, you'll likely sound crazy and dumb if you make a serious issue about the matter.
Twitter is a place to read poorly developed, flippant thoughts that will get you thinking — in an unhealthy way.
Twitter has transformed into a popular destination to complain about how awful your relationship is. You get to say something truly spiteful or sarcastic under your breath (but on the Internet, rather than with your words).
Like, if your boyfriend pisses you off, a simple "he doesn't appreciate me #whydoiputupwiththis" tweet may suffice. Or maybe you just had a fight about a girl who may jeopardize your relationship; maybe “sluts need to back up #dafuq" will make you feel better. Are you fighting with your girlfriend and not currently speaking with her? Does she still think it’s okay to "favorite" everything you tweet? "Just had #tacobell"
Even if you’re fighting, she can take part in the mundane parts of your life — Twitter makes relationships inescapable. It’s a coward’s diary for when you want to say something but you don’t feel like you can muster the strength. If you think you’re safe because your girlfriend doesn’t use Twitter, you're dead wrong. Her friends follow you (or at least will stalk your profile for her) and will send her screenshots of your indiscretions.
Instagram is so simple. You just double tap if you like a photo, right?
Yes, but your activity is public to everyone who follows you. So, if you liked that picture of that girl in her underwear, your girlfriend can see it and ask you about it. “I mean, I know that she is all about that #cleaneating and #girlswholift, but I didn't know you were just so supportive of her health and fitness,” she may wonder. And she may wonder why he still follows his ex. Unfollowing is a beautiful thing.
Are you textually active and practicing safe text?
DO NOT read your partner’s texts.
It’s so simple. Whatever you do, just restrain yourself. It may be tempting; she's in the shower, he left his phone at your place, you know each other’s lock codes and he shouldn't be hiding anything anyway. STILL. STOP.
You’ll never know the full story and you’re likely to be hurt no matter what you find. Plus, you’re likely not going to find whatever you’re seeking if you’re looking for something specific.
Maybe he's talking to his ex because she’s going through a family problem about which only he knows. Maybe she's texting her best guy friend, who she thinks is platonic, but you know he has a crush on her. It doesn't matter because you invaded privacy, which is unforgivable.
Whether or not you agree to believe so, we're all slaves to technology, and its advancements are ruining our relationships. It’s unrealistic to unplug completely, but realize what it is, what it can offer and where its jurisdiction should end. If you must fight, fight about how long she takes to get ready, or how he chews with his mouth open — not about how long it took him to like your picture or that he favorited another girl’s tweet.