Why This Generation Needs To Realize The Worst Way To Get A Date Is To Look For One

Dating… woof. The term itself sounds tiring, overwhelming and even intimidating. I mean, we read and write millions of blog posts each day about how to manage it, scale it and hopefully, succeed at it. But, do we really have a f*cking clue about what it really entails?

We pretend that if we act a certain way, share a certain gesture or hide a certain flaw, we will inevitably understand how to master dating. However, that couldn’t be further from the truth.

You can pretend to be mysterious, act mischievous and even hope to seem innocent. But in all actuality, everyone can see through your façade, which makes you look insecure and unreliable.

I get it, though. I, too, fall victim to the dating game. I dress up and go out, shift what I actually want to do and want to say in hopes of not ruining a chance to hang out with someone.

But, at the end of each date, I am left wondering why the hell I didn’t just go out with my friends; why I didn’t say what I wanted to say, and most importantly, why I wore heels for any of this.

Everyone makes dating seem like it's what you should be doing, what you should want and what you desperately need. However, speaking from experience, sometimes going on a bunch of dates is the worst thing you can do.

Just because a bunch of potential singles surround you doesn’t mean you will land a legit hookup or relationship.

Just because you’re in a crowd doesn’t mean you’re with people. You can even be lonely in a huge crowd. It’s all a state-of-mind and honestly, dating can crush that state. So then, what do you do? What the hell is left when Netflix doesn’t feed your fix and dating one more fool will literally make you sick?Go out!

Go out and get drinks with your friends. Go from bar to bar, park to park, movie to movie. Keep doing things, but don’t always expect that someone will be there to do them with you.

Do you have a group of friends with whom you always promise to hang out, but don’t actually want to follow through because sometimes, they seem weird? Screw it and just go out with them.

Chances are, they will take you somewhere different and introduce you to even weirder things you never would have tried by yourself. Stop changing who you are to keep up with dating trends.

Every boyfriend I've ever had has always been a friend first; someone who laughed at my jokes and dealt with my bullsh*t; someone to whom I could say anything weird and with whom I could get hammered just because. It’s supposed to be that easy.

Try hanging out with your friends just for the sake of hanging out with them and try meeting someone just for the sake of it. Stop trying to keep up with the culture around you and try to just enjoy being you.

There is nothing sexier in this world than someone who is self-aware and confident. You can only attain this mindset when you’re not filling it with the bullsh*t of what everyone thinks you should be doing.

There is nothing more exciting than the opportunity to meet someone new and connect. But, first and foremost, be okay with something never happening and cultivating a strong sense of self.

Once you accept this, everything else be up to chance. Don’t alter your hair, your outfits or your personality in hopes of meeting Mr. Right. That simple-minded thinking will only lead to dead-end relationships and lonely companionships.

Photo Courtesy: I Hate Traveling