Once A Slut, Always A Slut

Here’s a funny story. In the past week, I found out that two hookers that I know - don’t ask me how - just got engaged.

Hilarious, right? What’s even funnier is that their fiancées know exactly what industry they are in- the hoe business- and still decided it was a good idea to get hitched.

Fantasia, I know that you get stuffed more than a fat woman’s leggings, but I love you. Will you… will you allow me to be your pimp?

 

This is the problem with being a slut; once the numbers get rolling, they will keep on rolling. Now don’t get all politically correct on me and tell me that there is a big difference between a hooker and a slut.

Sure, one gets paid to sleep around and one does it just for fun- but that just means that sluts are really dumb hookers. If you’re going to be passed around the table, you may as well get compensated for it.

In all seriousness though, I am sorry to say that once you actually do cross over to the dark side of slutdom, it’s near impossible to go back. It’s not that there is some sort of border patrol where if you try to hop back over the fence you’ll get shot; this isn’t Texas.

The fact is, the more people that you want to have sex with, the more people you will continue to want to have sex with- laws of nature.

How do I know this to be true? From experience. I meet new women all the time, and if I set my mind to it, I usually end up sleeping with them. I don’t do this to “add them to my collection” or put another “notch in my belt.” I threw out the belt quite some time ago and, to be honest, have no idea how many holes I put in it.

I do this for two reasons. One: I like to have sex. Two: I may not know exactly what I am looking for in a woman, but I know what I’m not looking for in a woman; the fastest way for me to find out if a woman I just met may potentially be wife material is to fuck them.

After the first lay, a person will know whether or not their one-night-stand may turn into a regular booty call. Why put up with weeks or even months of chasing or celibate dating to find out that the person’s favorite position is the dead fish? Bang’em after the first or second date and you’ll have your answer right there and then- simple.

One thing that I came to realize, however, is that it’s not easy to find someone that you actually click with. Great, right? Just keep on fucking randoms until you do- well, it turns out that sex is addicting.

Sleeping with new people every week is addicting. You may find the love of your life and be happy with them for years. But then, sooner or later, you will start to think about all those thighs you haven’t had the pleasure of exploring, all those bodies you never experienced, and all those sexual personalities you never got a chance to fuse with for a short blissful instance.

Polygamy is part of human nature. Most people are able to handle it, but they’ve been drinking from a limited number of cups. If you’ve only had wine from Napa, then you’ll be happy with Napa for the rest of your life; taste wine from all over the world, on the other hand, and you will continue to crave wine from different vineyards until the day you die.

So, fellow sluts, to conclude this article I will leave you with a truth that deep down you know to be true: we’re screwed; literally.

Paul Hudson | Elite.

@MrPaulHudson